Why Have You Forsaken Me

2007-05-15T19:27:00.000-05:00

Usually, the cars in the parking lot at the abortion center are beat up old jalopies. They are a huge contrast to the abortionist's ride, which is a huge silver Lincoln Continental. He parks in the back, next to the dumpster...how appropriate. Sometimes I point that out to his "patients."

But this morning, one of those PT Cruisers was parked in the abortion parking lot. A mother and her daughter got out of the car and started towards the sidewalk. The mother immediately began shouting at me. She said I have no right to be in front of the center. She was yelling at me asking me how many babies I adopted. She was very upset, as she should be. I told her taking her daughter here has nothing to do with adoption, it has to do with eliminating her grandchild, and hurting her daughter. Of course, it never was about adoption, it was just a front to hide her guilt. She bolted inside, and I prayed that she would come back out so that we could talk about her daughter. That did not happen.

Two black girls approached, and I gave them the CPC information. One said she is getting a pregnancy test. When she came out, I asked her in my best happy voice if the test is positive. She showed me the white folder to prep for the abortion. She held up my card, and ran to her car.

A man brought a woman to the center. She was very hostile to me. But he stopped, and I asked him if his wife or girlfriend is pregnant. He said he did not know. He side-stepped me and went to his car. I walked with him as far as the law allows, and talked to him about the joy of holding his own child...maybe his son. He looked at me square in the eyes, and took off in his car.

I was alone until Chris came. He immediately went for the entrance way and starting singing and talking so that the people inside could hear him. Chris is very passionate about his ministry. A few minutes passed, and then a man I have never seen before came to wait for the bus. I greeted him, and he asked me if anyone left the "killing center" this morning. We exchanged names and a hand shake, and he began to speak...very slowly.

His name is James. He asked me, "Do you know what you are?" I cringed...oh no here we go... He responded, "You are a mistake". He said, "I am a mistake". I asked him to explain that to me. He said, "It is very possible that many of us are here on this earth as a mistake made by our mother who never intended a pregnancy. But, yet, here we are standing together on the sidewalk talking in front of an abortion clinic. What makes us different from the babies in the bellies of those mothers going in there? Nothing! The difference is that our mothers transferred thier mistake to a life and to a love. But these mothers transfer their mistake to death". He emphasized death. The bus came, we looked at each other silently, he stepped on the bus, and he was gone.

Richard, his wife Rose, Joe, and Kathy all came to pray. Chris stepped away. We pray so they can hear us inside. We pray the Chaplet on our knees. That is my favorite part of the prayers.
Kathy has been ministering at that center for over ten years. She has seen many miracles, and she is amazing.

I might go to a day retreat next week for sidewalk counselors and abortion clinic prayer warriors. I have been praying about it. I am not sure it would be good for me to go. I really dislike what some say and do as sidewalk ministers. I can't stand the "saves" language. They are not "saves," they are persons. Besides, we rarely know if the mother delivered the baby, or went to another clinic for the abortion. I think people should stop counting what they call "saves," and just be happy that God chose them to do His work, no matter what happens or doesn't happen. Then there is the badgering and harassing of the women and abortion staff which is so unloving, and does not allow any quiet time for the Holy Spirit to work .

YES, YES, I know...too few do this work...and it is good that people are out there. Satan is the divider. Yes, I know. That is why I may not attend. If I start hearing about those "saves" I might have to speak about that, and I don't want to divide people. Better not to go. I don't want to make a "mistake".

I keep thinking about James' interesting commentary about mistakes. I smiled to think that my sister who is twelve years younger than I...is who James is referring to as a "mistake".

2007-03-01T19:59:00.000-06:00

The snow was heavy this morning as I drove to the abortion center. But then, shortly after I arrived there, it turned to rain. Unfortunately I forgot my umbrella, but it was bearable.

First to pull into the parking lot was a mother and her daughter. The cute little girl jumped out of the car and went for the door. I greeted her with a smile. She smiled back. I handed her the crisis pregnancy center card and she looked it over. Before I could say a word, her mother stormed forward shouting at me to leave her daughter alone. She brushed past me and tried to open the door, but could not get in because it was not yet 9:00 AM. They make people wait outside, as if they were standing in front of a Target store waiting for someone to come with the key.

A rickety old van slowly rolled up the small driveway and parked. I saw two car seats in the van. An Arabic man, and his wife wearing the full black garb and head wear came on the sidewalk. She quickly went inside, but I was able to stop him and ask him to talk with me. He explained to me that he has no job, and can barely feed their two children. He is a former National Guardsman. He said the help they tried to get through Social Services was a nightmare. He is right. I learned that Social Services and government aid is a very difficult process to wade through for help. The system is apparantly a mess.

I never thought I would ever say this, but I have come to understand that sometimes our society drives people to the abortion center. I understand why some women would have an abortion. After talking with so many people in front of the abortion center, with so many different situations, I truly understand why some go there. Of course, it is an abomination to God, and I hate abortion. But when I hear pro-lifers say, "I can't understand how a woman could kill her baby"....I immediately think...then you are clueless! Way too many pro-lifers talk-talk-talk, but they do not listen. I am sick of Christian and Catholic radio hosts and guests make ridiculous comments about people involved in abortions when they do not know the situations.

Project Gabriel puzzles me ...is that program more helpful than a CPC? Will they talk-talk-talk, or will they listen? I don't know. I have talked to the volunteers and read the material. I am concerned that the Project might take women away from the real help they can receive at a crisis pregnancy center. Is "Angel" training realistic? I am sure the volunteers are sincere, good-hearted, and well-meaning people, but can they take the place of professional counselors who can guide women and men through their crisis including the help to get through the complicated government aid? I wonder why they don't partner with a good CPC or two.

It is so easy to be a vocal prolifer from your nice suburban home where your husband takes care of you, and you have a car and go on vacations. I am talking about the prolifers who shout at politicians, the abortion center staff, and the abortionist saying things like, "Hey, why do you kill babies?" Is that helpful? They say, "these women go to abortion centers because of this or that"....and I have heard them say, "they feel like...this or that" I have even heard MANY say "the women feel like they have no other options". Sometimes that is true...but not ALL THE TIME . Take the mothers who bring their little daughters. Oh please, they know about options! It is not about having options. Most often, it is simply about living a selfish life.

The Arabic woman did not have the abortion. Her husband said they are going to The Lennon Center for help. I started praying at 9:30 AM. A man named Gerry came, and he prayed with me. Chris was there too. We prayed in the pouring rain only three feet from the door. I was surprised to find myself fighting back tears today as we prayed the Rosary, and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. Little girls with pink ribbons in their hair are having abortions. Some say that is "choice", and some even call it "reproductive health". I call it child abuse.

I was thinking about the little girl inside this terrible place, brought here by her mother. She will remember March 1 forever. I thought about how angry her mother was at me, and about this young teen's shy little smile when I approached her. I prayed for her mother (who threw up in the parking lot). The little girl had an abortion. She left in tears; but instead of the CPC card in her hand, she was grasping her birth control pills.

2007-02-24T19:17:00.000-06:00

My friends on the sidewalk at the abortion center tell me it has been very busy! Well, let's see, yes, six weeks after New Years...it would be. Then again six to eight weeks (or more)after Valentine's Day, and then again after the prom. On and on. How sad.

I have been away from the sidewalk because I have a new job. After praying about it for a long time, I accepted the job because I believe it is what God wills for me. I loved doing sidewalk ministry for Him. I asked Him not to take me away from it, and away from my friends. I prayed to be able to come back to the abortion center. And...thanks be to God, my prayers are answered! Things have settled down at my new job, and it looks like I can return to the abortion center where I can minister to people, and just as often, if not more, they minister to me.

I have been trying to stay in touch with Kathy. I have received emails from Chris. He is really tenacious. Even though I do think he is way out there...I also think he is a saint! I have been praying for Stan because he hurt his back. I miss Connie, and Charles, and the homeless man, Carl.

My new job is very time consuming, and I work alone most of the time. I am outside working in the woods. It is very peaceful and I can pray and meditate on God's love and mercy. I can say the Rosary and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy out loud as if I am on the sidewalk at the abortion center. Even though I have not been there physically, I am there every day mentally.

I think God put a passion for sidewalk ministry in me...I want to be there, but only for Him. So, wherever He sends me, whatever it is He wants me to do...I will look to Our Blessed Mother for guidance. I will ask her to help me so that I will diminish my own will and do His will. She is the perfect model for all women, and especially for women in a crisis pregnancy. She said yes.

2006-12-02T11:54:00.000-06:00

I arrived on the sidewalk in front of the abortion clinic at 8:45 AM. Stan was there in his bright yellow rain coat wearing his sign that say Pregnant? Call 800 No Abort. It was pouring rain! I also had on a rain coat and used my pitiful little burgundy umbrella to try and stay somewhat dry. It is more difficult to persuade people to stop and talk in a terrential downpour! It was a gloomy morning, especially for the women coming for abortions.

Everyone took my CPC information, but they were not receptive to talking in the rain. Most people arrive by 9:15 AM. But at about 9:30 AM, a couple pulled in to the parking lot. They got out of their van and immediately started screaming and swearing at each other. He continued to yell as he went ahead of her. She tearfully followed him inside the clinic. Obviously, this was not the time to approach them. It appeared that he was pressuring her against her will to have an abortion, but I have learned to assume nothing!

After a few minutes, she came out with tears streaming down her face. I walked next to her and offered to help her or call someone for her. She said no, but she stopped and faced me. I asked her to take my card for help and put it in her pocket so that he does not see it. She took the card, and quickly shoved it in her pocket just as he came out to yell at her some more. She does not want the abortion, he does. They left...but then...unfortunately came back. It appeared that he hit her when she was in the van, but I could not see that for certain. When he came back to the abortion center door, I asked him if I could speak with him. He whirled around to look at me, and in no uncertain words made it quite clear that I should not talk to him again.

I tried to talk to her again, but she was visibly shaken and crying. I asked again if I could call someone for her. I told her that I will pray intensely for her and her baby. Chris came on the scene, and I told him what was happening. I warned Chris that the man is very volatile, and that he should be careful. As usual, Chris is fearless. He shouted to the man, "Sir, don't kill your baby."

Stan and I prayed our various prayers, Rosary, and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy in the down pour. A young girl left the abortion center with the tell-tale white 24 hour notice folder. I started to talk with her, gave her my information, and she stopped because she clearly wanted help. I told her she would never regret having the baby, but would regret an abortion forever.

Kathy came by to tell me that a mother and daughter came to the abortion center looking for me while I was on my trip. She described them, and I remember talking with them about two months ago. They wanted to tell me that they did not go through with the abortion, and now they are very excited to soon hold this little boy or girl in their arms. What a huge ray of sunshine that news brought!

Chris emailed to tell me that the couple came out at 2 PM, and she did have the abortion. She cried to Chris that now it is too late, and she screamed "He killed my baby." Sadly, we have seen this before.

We see this (and other sad situations which hurt women and children) all the time at the abortion center. No one ever comes there because they want to, and no one ever leaves healthy. They leave knowing they are the mother of a dead baby. They are wounded in body, mind, and spirit. This is happening in your neighborhood. It is the greatest tragedy and terror to women and children of our time. If you doubt this, then you have never been on the sidewalk to see what abortion really looks like.

The rain pouring down and wetting the abortion center sidewalk is like millions of tears coming down from Heaven to mourn the deaths of the innocent babies. And when it doesn't rain tears from Heaven, it rains tears from the women and men who regret ending the life of their very own son or daughter.

2006-11-28T12:36:00.000-06:00

I just finished a great book called Unborn Jesus Our Hope by George Peate. It is an amazing reflection on the missionary work of Jesus while He lived in Mary's womb. This unique book sites many scholarly and scriptural references. Unborn Jesus is the champion of all unborn children. We pray to the Divine Child and to the Divine God-man, so why not pray to Unborn Jesus? If you are interested, you can read sections from the book at unbornwordalliance.com. The site is listed as one of my links. This book was very inspirational to me personally, and as a prolife activist. Who better to give the dignity of personhood to the unborn baby than Unborn Jesus?

2006-11-22T06:19:00.000-06:00

I took this picture from Fr. Paul's web site (fatherpaul.org).

I am back from a two week pilgrimage to Turkey and Greece called: In the Footsteps of St. Paul. The pilgrimage was packed with great sites and incredible information. My mother and I had a wonderful time together visiting many ancient sites. Our vacation was an amazing site seeing tour, but not really much of a religious pilgrimage.

I was disappointed that we never prayed together while traveling on our tour bus. We did not even say a prayer together before our meals. We did not pray at Mary's house. Mary's house brought tears to my eyes. The Mother of God in such a lowly and humble dwelling; what a huge message!

We had a very nice priest to lead us on the pilgrimage. He was substituting for another priest, and I do not think he is familiar with this type of religious pilgrimage. I think he did his best to please everyone. He was very kind, gentle, and patient with our large group of 39 people. He was Christ to all of us.

I quickly learned the dynamics of the group when the Michigan election results were announced. I was shocked and dismayed! Most of the group, including two nuns, celebrated the victory of the re-election of our pro-abortion governor, Jennifer Granholm. I was horrified. I told the nuns that they are celebrating with Planned Parenthood, NARAL, homosexual marriage advocates, the porn industry, anti-Americans, and anti-God Hollywood people like Madonna. They are celebrating with Satan himself! They are accomplices to the murder of over 47 million innocent babies. I ask the Lord WHY he put me together with all these pro-aborts? He says, "Endure what I give you...with...joyful acceptance. He knows what is good for me better than anyone....joyful acceptance...OK then...there is always a plan!

It hurt me to watch these pro-aborts receive the Lord in the Eucharist. Catholics? I say no way! One of the nuns even prayed for the unborn during Prayers of the Faithful at Mass. How could she truly mean that and then support abortion with her vote? I responded with a prayer to support only politicians who embrace life....Let us Pray to the Lord!

I learned that the nuns are involved with Call to Action. They support "choice", homosexual lifestyles and marriage, and among other heresies CA supports a female priesthood. They wore earings and dyed their hair, but St. Francis cut St. Claires hair.

Yet He calls us to be charitable. OK, I do love them, but I am angry with their refusal to support life. I had my own little pilgrimage...in my mind. I prayed the Rosary and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on my own, silently. There were others on the trip whom I admired very much as faith-filled Catholics. I was blessed to meet Mike, Fariel, Muntaha, Elaine, Moira, and Leonard. Interestingly, Elaine's deceased husband was instrumental in founding Call to Holiness which was created to oppose Call to Action.

I am looking forward to getting back on the sidewalk. It has been over two weeks. I have been praying for the group and for all the people coming to the abortion center. I pray that I will not become hard hearted against people who support abortion. I learned on this pilgrimage that St. Paul's preaching and St. John's writings in Revelations could apply to the state of the Church today! I know that I turn people away from me when I speak up for life and against the culture of death. I question myself at times. But then when we were in Ephesus, I remembered what St. Paul said to Timothy as he struggles to evangelizing the Ephesians. St. Paul said, "I entrust this charge to you Timothy, my young child, in accordance with the prophetic words once spoken to you. Through them, may you fight the good fight by having faith and a good conscience." 1 Tim 1:18 Let's continue to fight the good fight!

2006-11-01T19:43:00.000-06:00

Last week was a bad week for the abortionist. He had few customers during the week, and no one on Friday or Saturday. Or else, he went on vacation Friday and Saturday. But this week is another story.

It is so rare that a father would bring his daughter for an abortion. Usually, the father is dragging his daughter away from the grips of the abortionist. But sadly, this week a mother and father brought their young daughter for an abortion. I was at the door when they arrived. The mother ran inside the center. The daughter stopped and listened and took my information. She was a very small teenager. Somewhere between thirteen nd fifteen. She wore jeans and a pink jacket with a furry fringe around the hood and sleeves. The brand of her jacket was splashed across her back with sparkly writing. She had little girl braids, and a little girl face...wearing a look of sheer terror. She went inside as her father approached me.

I asked him if his little daughter was pregnant. He said yes. He confirmed to me that she is having an abortion. I asked him why he wants to end the life of his grandson or grandaughter. He said there is no baby yet. I told him that the baby is there, complete DNA, completely human, completely his grandson or grandaughter. He will not take on the expense of a grandchild. I told him that he will severely hurt his daughter by this abortion, and it will be forever. She will know what happened to her child forever. He said she should have thought about that before she laid down and opened her legs. He said he is doing this for himself and he does not care about her.

All I could say is, "Some day, you will care." I don't often tear up on the sidewalk, but his hard heartedness choked me up. After about an hour, she came out with her mother and father. It was too soon for her to have an abortion. I approached the father. He put up his fist to me and told me that he would hit me if I came closer. I backed away, but I had no trouble hearing their conversation as they walked to their car. The father was yelling and screaming at the mnohter and his daughter. It is hard to know the whole story, but it appeared that the little girl was too frightened to have the abortion, and the abortionist refused to do it. I hope that is true.

Kathy has been working to evangelize the abortionsit and the staff for years. I joined her in that effort. We talk with them lovingly and kindly in order to establish a relationship with them. They do not think we are crazy people who want to hurt them. Currently, two out of the three women who work for the abortionist, hand out our CPC information from the inside. Unfortunately, the group that comes when we are not there, does not do the same. We had to tell the staff that we are not a part of their group. We can't work with them.

I am leaving on a two week trip with my mother to Turkey and Greece. It is a religious pilgrimage called In the Footsteps of St Paul. I am looking forward to seeing the countries and spending some time in prayer and contemplation with the Lord. I'll pray for Kathy and the group while I am away. I will also pray for the the little girl in the pink jacket, and for her baby. Some people on the sidewalk are impossible to forget, and she is one of them.

2006-10-21T18:20:00.000-05:00

I have been away for a couple of weeks on business...yes, I do have a job that I need in order to pay for things...like college tuition...actually three college tuitions! I have to admit that I really dislike being away from the sidewalk. I think about what is happening there, and vicariously, I pray with the group at 9:30 AM.

When I came back to the sidewalk, unfortunately, the abortion center was very busy. I arrived just before 9:00 AM and the parking lot was packed. My hear sank. I immediately began talking with the men and women planning to go inside. Most everyone took my CPC referral information, but sadly, no one left the abortion center.

After a short time, a man came out to get something to eat at the party store. I asked him if his wife or girlfriend was inside waiting for an abortion. He said yes, his girlfriend was already being prepped for the abortion.

I asked him to please go inside and get her out. He said that she is determined to do this, and he cannot stop her. I touched his forearm, looked deeply into his eyes, and said, " I am so very sorry for the loss of your son or daughter." He looked directly back into my eyes. His eyes welled up with tears, and they started to stream down his face. My eyes welled up too. He told me that it will never happen again. We can only pray.

I went back to my fellow prayers, and for awhile, I could not speak. I was fighting back more tears. I think that being away from the sidewalk for a little while can be a good thing. Going there so frequently can harden a person. I think it can instill an attitude that the horrific act performed right in front of us is more of a common occurrence than a devestating act on humanity.

I am ready to hit the sidewalk tomorrow morning. I carry two briefcases in my car at all times. One is a soft briefcase containing my lap top and sales materials. Out of this briefcase I sell Lawn & Garden products...for money. The other briefcase is hard, and contains my CPC referral cards, prayer sheets, umbrella, rosaries, gloves, holy water, and pro-life sales materials. Out of this briefcase, I sell life...for God.

2006-09-14T11:45:00.000-05:00

The sight of people joining together to pray in front of an abortion center is startling! Sometimes our public prayer really bothers people. I think it rattles the conscience. Some people will stop to pray with us after driving by many times. Some like to ask questions, or debate pro-life vs. pro-abortion. Some just want to yell and scream at us...venting, I suppose. The truth is that the prayers we say in front of the abortion center is our power source.

The words we speak to the women and girls is not what stops them from having the abortion. The literature or CPC referral cards we give them is not what turns them away. No, we do not have that kind of power. It is God who is in charge on the sidewalk in front of the abortion center. He decides what the outcome will be for every person coming and going, including the abortionist and his staff.

I cringe when I hear sidewalk counselors spewing out numbers of "saves" and "turns". These are PEOPLE, not "saves" and "turns." It is not for us to know what God has planned for the people we speak with at the abortion center. Truthfully, we rarely know the outcomes. It is our mission to do whatever His Will is for us, and do it to the best of our ability. To me that means to act and speak with complete charity, obey the law, and respect everyone we come in contact with including the abortionist and his staff.

And now that being said....I am having a hard time with a sidewalk counselor who comes one day a week with her group. She intentionally breaks the law, harrasses people, and is rude to the staff. The police came when I was there with them. I explained to the officer that I am not with her, and I showed him our written agreement from the police chief. I feel she is unraveling the relationships Kathy established and we have maintained with the police, the neighbors around the clinic, and with the abortionist's staff. Our relationship with the staff is vital. This is the second time a nurse has offered to ditribute our cards from the inside. Our relationship with the police enables us to BE THERE. Chris has already been removed for breaking the law.

But, She does not care about the law and such. She follows the Joe Scheidler, Chicago method, and we are of the Fr. Riley, Helpers of His Precious Infants persuasion. She told me that we are not on the same team. I agreed! This is a sad situation. Satan is the divider. I am sure he would love to have us go against each other to distract us from the reason we are there....to be His instruments in front of the abortion center...doing His will...witnessing....evangelizing...and living the Gospel.

My Pastor, Fr. Browne, said in a homily that when you put yourself "out there" to do God's will, the road will get rocky. I wondered, at the time, what he meant by that. Now I know. We are challenged. God steps back to show us our true selves. Ouch...now we can learn just how charitable and humble (or not) are we really are in the face of a challenge! When the road is smooth it is SO easy. Now that is rocky, what will we do or say? I will have to pray about it. I am too weak, I need His help to know. When the police officer came to the sidewalk because laws were broken, he asked us in a loud voice, "Who is in charge here?" For obvious reasons I did not say it, but I knew the only right answer to that question was, "God is in charge here!"

2006-09-07T20:39:00.000-05:00

Last week my neice, Maureen, came to the sidewalk with me. It is a difficult thing to do for many people, most especially for a teenager. It was a busy morning. Maureen witnessed to the fact that two lives walk in the door, and only one broken life comes back out. Maureen did very well. I was impressed and pleased that she knelt with us to say the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy and other prayers. Kneeling at this very busy intersection is humbling. I think many teenagers would find it totally embarrassing. We say the prayers loudly at the abortion center. I laughed when I heard from her mother that Maureen said we shouted the rosary! There is truth to that....we are heard inside! I hope Maureen comes again. It is very powerful to have young people with us as witnesses to Christ's teachings, and to taking a stand against the crime of abortion. Maureen seemed truly concerned for the women going into this filthy place.

I had several debates with people driving by. They pulled over and we discussed the pro-life vs. pro-abortion issue. The people I talked with were very reasonable and interested in hearing the pro-life case. I think it is a very easy discussion on the pro-life side of the debate. One man has stopped three times to talk with me about it. I think he is seeing the light! At first he blasted his horn rudely, now he toots and waves! That is our method....charity....to the people having abortions, people that come with them, the staff, the abortionist, and the people who drive or walk by the abortion center.

Most people take our information which is on a business size card that can be put into a pocket. It works, we know this from the CPC's that notify us about the women coming to them from our information cards. I told Maureen that even though sometimes it seems no one is leaving, and the cards are not working, women DO leave, and never have the abortion. She thought our friendly method was right; she said a more aggressive method and constant chatter would scare these young women away. Maureen knows girls who have had abortions. She was very sure that our smiles and gentle conversations were much more likely to turn women and girls away than the constant talk and begging other sidewalk counselors do.

We left the abortion center after praying. On our way home, we talked about a particular girl at the abortion center. I talked with the girl, and her mother and cousin at some length. She was having a pregnancy test, and it was positive. She was very upset. I think she will go see Laura with her mother. Maureen asked me if I thought she would keep the baby or have an abortion. I told her I don't know, it is our mission to get her to the CPC. Then after Laura talks with her....she will decide....she has a free will. I mentioned to Maureen that I usually go to my church and pray in front of the tabernacle for the mothers and babies I saw that day. I asked Maureen to pray for them too. She was right there. She saw the pain in thier faces; she witnessed the murder of an innocent person. Maureen went to Calvary, and stood at the foot of the Cross.

2006-08-29T20:30:00.000-05:00

What a fruitful day! Women coming to the abortion center today stopped to talk, and took our information referring them to a CPC. They were genuinely interested. That was great, but what made it a fruitful day is what happened just before we were about to leave....just after Kathy, Joe and I prayed.

As we stood up after saying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, an employe came out and asked us to give her a stack of our information (which is on a business size card) to distribute inside the abortion center. God is good! Kathy has always said that we are there for everyone, including the abortionist and his staff. Our way is loving and caring, our model is Jesus Christ.

My son, Nick came to the abortion center with me last week. He had information cards to pass out, but Connie came to visit and occupied most of his time. One of her cats died, and she was very depressed about that. He was very kind and patient with her. I think God sent Nick there for Connie. I hope he will come with me again because I think he would be very good at turning people away from the wretched place....charitably.

A man came out of the abortion center that originally entered with his girlfriend. She was having an abortion, and he was obviously against it. When he came out, I approached him. I asked him why he won't be a father to his baby. He turned to me and said, "I don't want this, I have no choice." He told me that people inside the abortion center could see and hear us pray. He said that when we dropped to our knees to pray, people inside started to insult us and mock us. He told me that he said to the people in the waiting room, "...those people on the outside are doing the right thing, all of us in here are wrong. I want nothing to do with this sin." Then he said he walked out, and now is leaving because he wants no part of it.

I still mourn for the babies, and pray for God's mercy for everyone who took part in ending these lives. I thank God for allowing us to see the fruits of our labor in others who are turning to Christ and away from this evil.

The city has accused Chris of disturbing the peace. He cannot come to the abortion center with his huge gruesome pictures of aborted babies until after his case. He is very upset, and concerned about the babies and women. Even though I don't agree with his way, he was effective with some people. We must not be divided! Hopefully, he will be back soon. God has a plan for Chris.

The fruits of our labor. Whatever happens on the sidewalk is God's work. We are just His instruments. I have to remember that. He sends me there, and He decides to show us the fruits, or not. Often times, my challenge is to accept what He gives me to do, even if I don't want it! And then, I am challenged to do His work with humility. I think St. Paul defines that as true service.

2006-08-25T19:02:00.000-05:00

Jim had a very nice fundraiser for the Lennon Center (a CPC) at his house. A few of us sidewalk counselors attended. The director, Laura, told Kathy and me that our efforts are a big success based on the number of women coming to her after talking with us at the abortion center. What great and up-lifting news! Just after hearing that, I suddenly got busy with work, and then went on vacation. I thought about Kathy being there, and at 9:30, I prayed with her from wherever I was at that time. I will never comprehend how hurting women and killing children (called reproductive "health" services) is legal, acceptable, and to most libs....desirable.

How can I make that statement? Most libs are Dems, and Dems vote for Dems, and the Dems they vote for support reproductive health services, ie. abortion legislation. They love abortion so much that they want it for our little teens. They can now jump up on the table at a filthy abortion center while a so-called doctor invasively rips out their little unborn baby. Then they ask, "where did my baby go?" The little teen comes with fears, and leaves in tears. If you think I am exaggerating....come and join me at the abortion center and see for yourself! Yep, the Dems love it....now we have Plan B...abortion in a bottle. This is a good time to read, or re-read Humanae Vitae!

Let's see, yes women's reproductive health services. Every time we go to the abortion center we see it in action. For example, yesterday, I spoke to a strawberry blond haired woman who looked to be in her thirties. Her name is Laura. She was very upset. She does not want an abortion, and she knows it is wrong and will haunt her. I tried to convince her to talk on the phone with Laura from the Lennon Center. I talked to her again when she went to stand by her car. She was whispering to me, and pointed inside her car. Her husband and teenage daughter were inside sleeping. When I asked her why she was ending the life of her child, she started to cry. We moved away from the car. He is forcing her. We talked about how she is an adult woman and he cannot make her do that. I tried again to have her talk with Laura. I told her I could help her. She walked away towards the abortion center door. I told her we would all be here outside praying for her. She stopped, turned around, touched my arm, thanked me, and went inside to have the abortion.

I decided that if her husband gets his butt out of that car, I would speak with him. Eventually he did....not to console her....but to have a smoke! So I told him that Laura is very upset and does not want this. I asked him to help her and his child. He reeled around to face me, and told me to shut up, and leave him alone. Isn't this great reproductive health? Women being abused, and teenagers being abused. So HEY....where are the feminist to protect the women? Oh, that's right, they are Dems voting for Dems, who LOVE abortion.

Every time we are there, people suffer and babies die. When it is in your face on the sidewalk, a moron could see that abortion is unhealthy, dangerous, and mentally and spiritually devastating. There are so many other options that are healthy and good for women and babies. But as long as those in power continue to de-humanize a person for money, it won't go away. Power and money. It won't be called homicide, it will be called women's reproductive health services. What a pathetic lie. You say you don't like abortion but can't force your beliefs on others.....tell that to God when He asks you what you did to to protect His innocent ones. The baby in his mother's womb is created as a gift from God to the whole world; He is the Author of Life. We can't see the unborn baby, but we know he is there, he is the essence of innocense, completely human, just like Jesus Christ His Son.

2006-08-01T22:43:00.000-05:00

Monday was a very bad day for the abortionist....only two abortions, and one woman coming for contraceptives. That is only $900 in revenue for the day. Unfortunately, he has another abortion center several miles away. His business has been down here on Schaefer, but I really don't know if it because of our presence, or if it is typical of the summer months. I am not sure.

Today a Muslim girl and her mother came to the sidewalk. This is very unusual, even though the neighborhood is predominately Muslim. I asked the girl if she is here for an abortion. She said yes. She looked so young I asked her age. She is only 17. She told me she is just a baby. I reponded to her that she is not a baby! I told her that she is a mother, and a real baby is growing inside of her. I tried to talk with her mother, but she answered me in Arabic. I told them both that I am sure they know that this is a great offense to God, a total abomination! The girl said, "yes, I know". I spoke to her, but she went inside and did not come back out. I was praying that a Muslim man would walk by so I could ask him to go in there and get her out. That was not God's plan today.

A young black girl stopped by the driveway to talk. She took my information, and seemed interested in the CPC. She did not have an abortion, and she had my information in her hand when she left. As soon as she got in her car, two older white women appeared walking very quickly to the door. At first they would not talk or take information. But finally, one of them told me she had an abortion and does not regret it, and she is bringing her friend to have one. Her head was held high. I told her that she knows what a traumatic event the abortion is, and if she cares, she will help her make the right decision to leave this place before it is too late. She said her friend has too many problems to have another child. I told her friend that this will only add to her problems, and it will be forever. This mother never said a word. They went inside and came out occasionally to smoke. I tried again to no avail. Then Chris went to talk with them, but they would not listen to him either.

Carl came to the sidewalk to visit. I have been praying for him because he wears so many clothes including a leather jacket and a wool hat. I am concerned he will get heat stroke in this 100 degree weather. I told him that, and he laughed. He said his hair will turn brown without a hat. I asked him "what is wrong with brown hair?" He looked at my hair and laughed. I offered to get him some bottled water, but as usual he turned me down. He not only wears a lot of clothes, he carries around four huge bags of his belongings. Charles came by to wait for the bus. Lately he has been slurring his words. I don't smell alcohol, I think he is taking pain killers for his leg problems. He surprised me when he took out the rosary I gave him weeks ago, and prayed with us. He asked us to pray for his children. Kathy with her dog Sadie, Joe, and Richard came to pray too. We had a nice group of witnesses of Christ love today!

I prayed alone today, and I asked God to send more people to help us. I don't think He calls everyone to go to an abortion center to speak to those whom are coming and going. But I am sure He calls all His people, if they are able, to come and pray.

I would say the street comments today were about half "fuck you's" and half "keep up the good work's." I guess they cancel each other out! I was sad today. I mourn for those babies that are alive right in front of me at the abortion clinic door. I picture what they would look like by the features of their mother's face. I even name them before they die. I give them names that would be for a boy or girl like Sammy, Robin, Morgan, Erin, or Carey. I recognize each life by saying the name I chose, and then I say to myself, "I love you, God loves you, and I am so sorry your mother does not."

I mentioned this sadness to Kathy. She reminded to me to remember to "wear the armor" every day for protection against allowing this tragedy to knock me down so low that I can no longer continue the battle. It is a special armor that protects against the abuses of the external world, and against the attacks of the internal spiritual world. It is the armor of St. Michael the Archangel. We pray, "St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray. And do thou art Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the divine power of God, cast into hell Satan and all evil spirits who prowl the world seeking the ruin of souls."

2006-07-27T22:07:00.001-05:00

Kathy is right....you do not have to travel far to witness miracles. She has seen many miracles here at the Schaefer abortion center in the past ten years. I have been coming here for only six months, and I am in awe of the miracles that happen right before my eyes!

Kathy and Joe were at the abortion center praying. I could not come that day because of car trouble. Kathy called me to tell me that a woman, Cherie, four to five months pregnant with twins and the mother of a two and six year old, came to the abortion center. She came because she had seen us outside the abortion center talking with people. She came to ask for help. She was living in her car. As Kathy was helping her find shelter, another pregnant woman came looking for help! She spoke to Joe. They both went to the Lennon Center.

The next morning I was able to go to the abortion center. As Kathy and I started praying, Kathy noticed Cherie's car on the side street. She went to talk with her. Apparently the shelter was full, and she spent another night with her kids in her car. Kathy, Chris, and I called different social agencies for shelter. Finally COTS agreed to take her and her children. I was appalled at how hard it was to find help for her; the beaurocracy was ridiculous. We all threw in some money so that she could buy gas and food. I noticed that the only food they were eating was pop corn and oreo cookies. Cherie looked haggard, and her feet were swollen.

Lately, I have had numerous conversations with men outside the abortion center door. I asked a black man who approached if his wife or girlfriend was having an abortion. He looked quite angry, and said yes, his girlfriend is in there. I asked him why he won't take care of this mother and his child. He said that he wants the baby but she refuses to "keep" it. He went into a rant. He pointed to a motorcyclist stopped at the light in front of the center. He said if I kill that guy on the bike right now, the cops will come, throw me in prison, and it will be all over the News. He pointed to the abortion center. He said all these women are in there killing people right here and now. But they are not arrested, hauled off to prison, and there is no News articles about them! He was shouting. He said that the father should have a say. I agreed with him. I also said that I would allow someone I care about deeply to have an abortion over my dead body. He looked away.

A very handsome young black man came walking by the abortion center. He asked me what I was doing. After I told him, his eyes narrowed, his forehead furrowed, and he marched right up to the abortion clinic door. He opened the door and shouted inside, "Hey you women get on out of there! You are killing our race. You are killing our next generation!" He stood by me for awhile and passed out information cards. The women stopped right in their tracks when he approached them.

Two teenage guys came walking to the abortion center door as we were praying the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on our knees. I popped up and asked them if they are going inside. One of them, Derrick, said he saw Chris's gigantic aborted baby pictures and was shocked at the truth. He wanted to go inside and pass out literature to turn the women away. He got cold feet, but he took the literature with him and promised to pass it out to girls he knows.

On my way to the car, an older man and baby were on the sidewalk near the condos. I asked him if he knew someone at the abortion center. His face fell. He said, "What did you call that doctor's office?" I told him that is no doctor office, it is an abortion clinic. He told me that his daughter and son-in-law are there. I told him I am sorry they are aborting his grandchild. He looked horribly sad and heart broken.

I think we are all a little tired this week. Even Chris seemed tired. Stan has not come for three weeks and I miss him. Richard is taking care of his mother and can't come. Jane is on vacation for three weeks. Debbie is coming more regularly. Carl the homeless man came by and was in great spirits in spite of the heat. Connie from the neighborhood came by one day, and she was really proud of her new outfit and new shoes. She looked very cute. Charles was not doing well. His leg was hurting him and he needs a doctor. He promised me that he would call his son to take him.

I will be at the abortion center tomorrow morning. Maybe I will experience a miracle; if God wills it, it will be. I have learned more in these six months at the abortion center about life and death than I ever could have imagined. I am a different person now....and that is a miracle!

2006-07-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

We are a witness of Christ's love to anyone who sees us talking to people and praying on the sidewalk. We offer our love and we mourn for the babies who have been forsaken by their mother. We pray that God will soften the hearts of the mothers and lead them to choose life. We pray for the conversion of the abortionist and his staff. We pray for the souls of all the mothers, brothers, husbands, and friends who participated in an abortion.

I arrived early today. Good thing since so many women came well before the clinic door unlocked. I spoke with Tamara for some time. She has three children aged thirteen, nine, and three. She said she gets too sick during pregnancy and she can't afford another "one". I gave her information on a doctor who will help her, and for material needs and financial assistance. She took the information. I asked her if she will use it, and leave this place now. She said no, she is having the abortion. We talked about how difficult her life is. I referred back to the help she could receive if only she would take the time to call the people on the card who are WILLING and ABLE to help her. We talked about the baby being a separate and unique person from herself. We talked about her other children. I asked her if she believes in God. She shrugged. She turned her back on me, grabbed the door handle, and then suddenly swung around to look at me. I asked her to slow down and think about talking with the people at the CPC who are experts and want to help her. I asked her to give them a chance for the sake of herself and her baby. I asked her to think about and picture what she is allowing the abortionist to do. For a few moments our eyes locked, she opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. I told her we will be praying for her. She looked down and said, "thanks." Then, she went inside.

The abortion center is busy today. Everyone took my card. All the men stopped to talk. One man came on to the sidewalk alone. He looked angry and anxious. I asked him if he was going inside to be with his friend or wife. He said his girlfriend is inside and he is coming to get her out of there. HMMMM....usually a lie, but this time I think he may be sincere. I pointed out the pitiful decrepid condition of the place. I commented to him that I wouldn't bring a dog to this filthy place, let alone someone I cared about to have such an invasive surgery like an abortion. He looked at the trash stuck in the black lava rock in the front weed beds, and at the peeling paint. He winced. I asked him to please protect her and his child. He took my information, and went inside. His name is Dantell.

Chris came a little early today. He started his singing and preaching at the door. I don't agree with his unrelenting aggressive approach. I am glad that I was able to talk with and hand out information to everyone who came thus far. Chris is very passionate, stays all day, and is successful with some poeple to turn them away from an abortion. But, I believe the kinder and gentler approach works best to get the information for help in their hands and talk with them about options. I don't like being with Chris because he causes confrontations with people, and I think that is dangerous and counter-productive. His aborted baby pictures scare people. We could debate who has the better approach all day long. To his credit, he is out in front of the abortion clinic all day long!

Jane and Joe came to pray. We said our various prayers, prayed a rosary, the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy (on our knees) and then started to walk away. Just as I got to the corner, a car pulled in. I went back to talk with the mother heading for the abortion center. She was a very tall large white woman. I walked up to her and she put her hand out to signal me to stop. She screamed at me to fuck off, and she said that she hopes I die and go to hell, and that she hates my guts, and will murder me if I come near her. I told her that I am sorry I upset her. I said maybe if she feels better while she waits, she would consider coming back out to look at information that could help her. I braced myself for another barage of insults, but she looked me over, up and down, and went inside.

A man and woman left without having the abortion. She was clutching my referral card, and smiled and waved to me. I did not feel that the Holy Spirit wanted me to approach them the second time. I prayed for them immediately. It is not for me to know God's plan for them, but I still watched them drive away and wondered how it will all turn out for them.

A short heavy white man with a lot of hair and a bitter look on his face walked by. I greeted him and asked him if he was going inside the abortion center. He stopped and looked at me. I could tell that he was working up a mouthful of spit to eject on something or someone; I assumed on me. He shot the mouthful of spit on the front of the building near the door. He walked up to me, and this time, I backed up. He screamed at me, "I hate this fucking place." Then he apologized to me and walked on. I have been cursed at so often at this abortion center that I think differently about the use of vulgar language. It turns me off so much that I try more than ever to never use it, and I have asked people not to use it in front of me. That is a switch from my past.

As I drove away from this Hell, I pictured the faces of the women I spoke to today. Young, pretty, soft faces with red teary eyes. I know that if they have the abortion they will have the same face, but will be totally different inside. I mentally revisited our conversations. I thought about how their babies will be dismembered, sucked into a jar, and tossed inside a dumpster. I started to feel depressed. Then I remembered what Laura from the Lennon Center told me. She said that I should ALWAYS leave the abortion center praising and thanking God that He chose me to be the one to bring Christ to all who come and go in front of the abortion center. She said to let them see Jesus through my smile and kind words before they go inside. So, I stopped at my church, and praised and thanked God in front of the tabernacle for using me and my wonderful companions as His instruments to do His work. When I pray like that, I get a little teary eyed too.

2006-06-29T12:07:00.001-05:00

Between work and car problems it has been difficult getting to the abortion clinic to sidewalk counsel these past two weeks. Last week, I was there three mornings, and this week only two mornings. The good news is that business seems to be down for the abortionist. Hurray!

Very few Muslims come for abortions in this predominately Muslim neighborhood. So, last week when a Muslim man and woman came on to the sidewalk headed for the abortion clinic, that took me by surprise. She would not look at me, but he took my card with information on where to go for free health services at a CPC. He came out of the clinic to smoke. I followed him to the bar parking lot. I asked him if he brought her for an abortion. He said, "Yes, but she is my friend's girlfriend and he begged me to take her here." I know that is a lie! I asked what he thinks about abortion. He told me that he is a "man of God", and does not agree with it. I asked him if he feels that he is an accomplice to the killing by bringing her here. He shrugged. We talked some more, and he told me he will try to get her out of there and leave. He did! Other women took the information we distributed, which Kathy designed. Some turned away, and some went inside. Most of the girls and women come and go in tears.

Tuesday was very slow, thanks be to God. I was there alone early on. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man coming down the sidewalk towards me. I don't recall seeing him before. As I would to anyone, when he got close, I greeted him. He moved as far away from me as possible on the sidewalk, put up his hand, and said in a loud mean voice, "Get away from me, you are evil!" His eyes were popping out and he actually looked frightened....of me? He was a large man....how could I possible hurt him? He kept on eye on me as he walked on as if I were going to cast a spell on him. Soon after that, Joe, Richard, and Jane arrived and we started our prayers. Only three women were in the clinic. A mother and daughter came out and left. They did not have time for an abortion, and they did not have the dreaded 24 hour notice envelope. I walked beside the mother, and she finally agreed to take my card.

Today I encountered another unusual situation with a man at the abortion center. I was working away trying to get women to leave to go to a CPC. Few were very responsive to my conversation attempts. Stan was with me wearing his sign that says, "Pregnant? Call 800 No-Abort" I always watch to see who is pulling in to the parking lot. I saw a man pull in who was alone. That is strange. I watched him get out of his car. He was a big muscular white man with sunglasses and a confident gate. I thought, "Here he comes, he can hardly wait to harass me." His shirt had a police patch. I waited for him to approach me. He whipped off his sunglasses, and stepped too close to me. I would not back up. I smiled and said hello. He told me that he drives by us all the time and today he felt compelled to stop and let us know that he supports us and our ministry. Shame on me for being so cynical!

His name is Jim. He stood close to me because he wanted to tell me something personal. He told me that he brought his girlfriend to an abortion clinic twenty years ago, when he was 21 years old. He has been struggling with that guilt and regret ever since. He has talked with a priest, and confessed. This big strong man had tears in his eyes. I listened to him becuase I could tell that he wanted to tell his whole story without being interupted. When he finished I asked him if he would stay and pray with us. Kathy, Katie, and Debbie were coming towards us. I gave him our prayer sheet and offered him a rosary. He smiled and said no thanks, I am a Knight of Columbus, and I have my own rosary. He knelt with us when we prayed the Chaplet, which he knew. It was great to have him pray with us, and I am sure it helped us be more noticable as witnesses from the street to have this great big muscular man pray his rosary with these four little women and Stan, who is not much bigger than me. I hope he comes back to pray with us again. We prayed for him.

Next week Tuesday is the Holiday. We think the abortionist will only close on Tuesday, but we will call. Afterall, he was open on Christmas eve, so what would he care about the Fourth of July eve? Before we leave the abortion center, we always pray Fr. Frank Pavone's prayer called The Prayer for the Closing of an Abortion Mill. A part I particularly like says, "...We pray, then, for the least among us, the children in the womb. Protect them from the violence of abortion. Give new hope to their parents, that they may turn away from the desperate act of abortion. Grant conversion to the abortionist and to the staff. Show us how we are to respond to the bloodshed in or midst....." That is what Jim did......he responded to the bloodshed in our midst!

2006-06-19T15:43:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, Teresa Tomeo of Ave Maria Radio, interviewed Alicia Wong and Ed Miller on their sidewalk counseling experiences. I did not hear it because I went to the abortion center to join Meg to talk with women before the door unlocked at 9:00AM. Laura from the Lennon Center heard the interview. Alicia and Ed had worked to shut down Dr. Alexander's abortion center in Ann Arbor. It did close, but he now opened up for business in Ypsilanti, and they are currently working there.

Our world is the Schaefer abortion center where Kathy has been working daily for ten years. She has established a relationship with the Dearborn Police so that we can maintain a peaceful presence there by abiding by their rules. Abortionists have come and gone under her watch. Kathy knows them all, and knows the staff. It is part of her ministry....to evangelize, convert, and pray for them. She does not denagrate or disparage them. Stan and Chris have been working there for a long time too. Richard, Joe, Jim, and Jane always come to pray. I am the new member, and they have welcomed me as part of the team. The team also includes Laura from the Lennon Center, who is very important because ultimately our goal is to send the women to her. We are not really sidewalk "counselors" we are more like intermediators. Laura is the counselor.

When I came to join Kathy on the sidewalk five months ago, I had no idea how much this work would affect me. I had no idea how much I would learn from her about God, prayer, abortion, sin, evil, and about people who live on the street. I learned a lot about myself too. Another person who has helped me, even though I did not think I needed any help, is Laura. She helped me to stay focused, and gave me encouragement when I was frustrated and disappointed. She said I should never leave that place discouraged. She said I should leave thanking God that He allows ME to be the one to help do His work, and thank Him for letting the women see His light shine on them through me. What an honor! Laura told me that many of the women who come for an abortion have insurmountable problems, and they want to hurry hurry hurry to solve this one of many problems by a quick and "easy" abortion. Also, she stressed that we do not know what God's plan is for these women, or for us, and we must trust in Him because it is Satan who wants to thwart our efforts by discouraging us. My pastor, Fr. Browne, also gave me encouragement by telling me that he thinks God has sent me there. He said, "When I look at you, I see..." I thought, oh no, he is going to say...."a big fat sinner" or "an over zealous evangelist"...or "someone who needs lots of help". But he said, "When I look at you, I see a wonderful transformation." Whew what a relief; I almost laughed aloud at my insecurity! God knows I need these wonderful people.

Friday was a slow day for the abortionist. Most of the women took Meg's and my information. Meg did not want to stay there alone, and I had to rush off to work in Grand Rapids. Fortunately, Chris was coming towards us just as I was leaving.

I was happy that Stan joined me this morning. Two young white girls came to the door. They took the card I gave them with information for help, but they would not talk. A black couple came to the sidewalk next. They both looked distraught, and they both took the information. I sensed that there was tension between them. He came out for a smoke. I asked him if she is pregnant. He said she is having a pregnancy test. I asked him if he would be the father. He said he did not know. I talked about how nice it would be to have a baby so close to Father's Day. He said she might abort. I told him how badly that would hurt her, he looked down but did not reply. I asked him to consider using the information on the card for help. He went to stand by his car, and she came out to join him. They argued for awhile. I moved away to give them some privacy. They quieted down, and left. She did not have a white 24 hour notice folder. She was holding my card. We prayed they will not return.

A young girl went in alone. She hurried in and would not talk with me. She looked very upset. I smiled at her and gently suggested that she come back out to talk when she is ready. She did not come back out. Others took information, some went in the center, and some left. Kathy was there to help and to lead us in prayer. She designed our prayer session. It is perfect. The three of us prayed the Rosary, Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on our knees, and other prayers. I am not sure what else could be as humbling as praying on my knees at a busy intersection in front of an abortion center. I think it is powerful, and I would not do it any other way! We pray for certain people and situations. Often, the people on the street and even the people inside the abortion center come out to ask us to pray for their special intentions.

They can hear us praying in the waiting room. And believe me, they wait a long time. There are no appointment times. The door opens at 9:00AM, and everyone just sits and waits until the abortionist is ready to see them....and their baby. They hear us pray for forty-five minutes....."blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus...."...evangelize, convert, pray.

2006-06-09T22:31:00.001-05:00

We are a little community. There is more to us than just tne interaction between the sidewalk counselors and the abortionist's customers. There is the interaction between sidewalk counselors and the neighborhood folks. Let me see, there is Connie, Charles, Carl, and now Jamie who comes to talk with us before getting on the bus to visit her boyfriend.

Connie has physical and mental problems and she is lonely, Charles's leg always hurts and he has some financial problems, Carl is homeless, and Jamie told me she is poor but she kept her babies. I have learned a lot from them. Although they struggle more than most with various hardships, they do not despair, or complain. I believe God brings His Dearly Beloved Son to me through these friendly and caring people. They are a witness to me of His love, they are the face of Christ.

Every person took my referral card and information to a CPC today. All but two women left. One of them was a Hispanic women accompanied by a man. I tried very hard to talk with him. He would not look at me, until I asked him if he is Catholic. He shot me a hard look, but would not speak. I took that as a yes. He quickly went inside the abortion center. The other woman never came back out; she is alone.

I felt bad calling Kathy to check up on her because she was not here this week, and this place is really her turf. She is on vacation, refreshing herself before coming back to fight in the battle. We talked a bit about the women who refuse to accept the truth that the life inside of them is a separate person from themselves. They do not have four eyes, four ears, two noses and in half of the pregnancies, a penis! They deny personhood to the fetus, they reason this by rationalization, not by truth and honesty. Kathy has been sidewalk counseling for ten years. She heard my frustration and she advised me to read Mark 6. "If any place will not receive you or hear you, shake the dust off your feet..." Ah yes, just the encouragement I needed to keep on keepin' on.

Chris came with his huge gruesome aborted baby pictures. I looked at him and gasped. His face was a mess. Yesterday he got into a "discussion" with a woman who just walked out of the center after her abortion. She was headed to her boyfriend's car; he was in the driver seat. She told Chris that God understands abortion, then Chris quoted Bible passages to her refuting that. They argued. Then the boyfriend attacked Chris while she kicked him when he went down on the pavement. The police came but Chris won't press charges. I don't know why Chris does that. She already had the abortion. The abortion center atmosphere is highly charged and very intense, emotions are raw. We all know that what we do puts us at risk of being hurt, but we are careful. Chris is so confrontational that he increases the risk for everyone. He has been attacked several times.....his face will heal....this time. I am concerned for Chris, and troubled by this incident.

Stan and I prayed the Rosary, Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on our knees, and other prayers. Chris moved away, as always, while we prayed. The two women did not come out of the center. After praying, Stan walked me to my car while Chris took over in front of the door singing and preaching about Jesus. I said hello to a man working on a traffic light as we walked past him, and I thought it was odd that he did not respond. Seconds later he called out to us and said, "Wait a minute, I want you to know that you are doing the right thing here, and you should keep on keepin' on." I looked at him and said thanks, and saw the face of Christ once again.

2006-06-07T13:13:00.000-05:00

This picture represents open adoption; a loving and honorable alternative.

Today was one of those sidewalk counseling days when you just can't help shedding a few tears for the babies and mothers at the abortion center. Sometimes I wonder if a mother would have changed her mind on death for her baby if only I would have said more, or said less, or said something different. For example.....

Two young white women came to the sidewalk. They took the CPC information and listened to me only as far as it took them to get in the door. One of the women left. The other, Jenny, came out for a smoke. She told me she is pregnant and getting an abortion today. She has three other children. We talked for a long time.....two cigarettes worth. She said she cannot afford another child. I talked to her about adoption, and she said she could not give her baby away. I told her that since we both agree that she is carrying a baby, then as a mother, she must believe that giving her baby to a loving financially stable couple is the right choice over killing her baby. I also gave her information on where she could get free pregnancy care, and financial help for her other children. Then she said that her baby will go to heaven and be with God and she will see her baby one day. I told her that it is not God's will for her to have an abortion. God has a plan for her baby, and for her as the mother of four children. I had to say to her that what she is doing is so offensive to God, that her place in heaven is not assured. Besides, I asked her what she would say to her baby in heaven? Would she say, "Hi, I am your mother. You know, the mother that did not want you, did not love you, did not name you. Instead I killed you and your broken little body went into a jar that was tossed in a dumpster in an alley behind the abortion center." She said that it is God's fault that she is pregnant, and that it is His fault that there are abortion clinics. I said, "Come on Jenny, you are smarter than that and you don't really believe that this is God's fault." I reminded her of our free will to choose to love God or turn away from Him. I asked her to tell me why she REALLY thinks abortion centers exist. She shrugged. I told her they exist because mothers, like her, keep them in business. I asked her to change her mind, to do the right thing, go and get her money back. Do God's will, not her own will. Her chin quivered, she said her minister told her that it would be alright to abort. I challenged her that he NEVER said that. She admitted he did not. I told Jenny that she would never regret having her baby, but would forever regret an abortion. She agreed, put her head down, and tears fell from her big blue eyes, down her pale cheeks, and on to the sidewalk. She is very petite, and very pretty. I told her that she must love her three very cute children and would love this baby too. She took one last drag, then threw the cigarette butt so that it landed with all the other hundreds of butts in the weed bed by the door. She went back inside.

Other mothers came and went, and all of them at least took my information. A man came to pick up the white 24 hour notice folder. I asked him if he was planning to bring someone here for an abortion. He said yes as he walked to his car. I told him that she will get hurt here, and that he should protect her from a place like this. He drove off.

Connie, who lives in the neighborhood, came by to visit. She has diabetes, and is bipolar. She likes using my cell phone. She is lonely. I enjoy talking with her. She told me all about her health problems and about her sons. I love Connie. I thought she was unaware of what we were doing here, but then she told me that her doctor advised her to abort her sons because of all her health problems. She pointed to the abortion center door, and said, "that is so wrong!"

A mother and daughter came towards me. They were smiling and I greeted them. I asked if she is pregnant. She said yes, and she came to pick up her ultrasound. I asked if she is planning an abortion. She looked shocked, and said no. She said she is having financial difficulties, but she is very excited about having the baby. I told her about the Lennon Center, and her mother encouraged her to go there for pregnancy help. Her husband just left for Iraq. She suddenly realized that people stopped at the traffic light were looking at her. She asked me why people were staring at her. I told her that they think she is here for an abortion. She looked at her mother and said....O my gosh, let's get out of here!" I wish they would all say that.

2006-06-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

Here is a great picture of a tiny little person! This morning was a bad morning for tiny little people at the abortion center. I think there was at least four abortions today. A black man in a van drove up, and out popped a perky young white girl headed for the abortion clinic door. I stopped her and she talked with me briefly and took my CPC information. She told me she was having an abortion today and giggled about it; clearly a nervous reaction. He never got out of the van. He played a loud rap CD. During the "chorus," which was repeated often, he turned the volume even louder so that everyone in the neighborhood could hear the words, "She's a Bitch."

Cars were pulling in one after the other. Next came a white couple. He was literally pulling her in the abortion center door by the hand. They would not talk to me nor take information. Just as they went in the door, a black woman came on to the sidewalk. She listened to me, took the information and went inside. The man she was with came to the sidewalk. I asked him if she is his friend. He said he is her cousin.....ummmm....maybe....maybe not. Anyway, I told him what would happen to her inside this wretched place. He was polite, listened, asked a couple questions, thanked me, and walked away to smoke. That was useless.

An older white woman brought her daughter for an abortion. They were both very upset. I spoke to them, but they went inside. After only a few minutes, the mother came back out. I followed her to her car while talking with her. She told me that her daughter had several miscarriages, and doesn't want to go through another. WHAT??? I asked her if she thought having the baby ripped out in pieces would be less traumatic for the mother and child than a natural miscarriage? No response. I asked her if she believes in God. She said yes. She did not respond when I asked her who gives life and takes it away....her or God? Finally, she said that having the baby could kill her daughter (a lie). I told her having an abortion could kill her daughter. As she got into her car, I asked her to please get her precious daughter and grandchild away from the hands of this abortionist. She drove off, leaving her precious daughter to experience an abortion all alone.

Stan arrived. I was happy to see him. Then, down the street, I saw Chris coming with a young black girl that he brought with him to help. Kathy did not make it today, so Stan and I started praying our various prayers, rosary, and Chaplet of the Divine Mercy.

Afterwards, I spoke with the young black girl, Anna. She is about four feet eleven inches tall and eighty pounds. She is twenty-two, but looks more like fifteen. Anna shouts at people, and is very harsh. I am concerned for her safety. Actually, I think she is wasted, but I don't know what she is on. Maybe I can ask Chris tomorrow. Suddenly the white couple came out. She had an abortion. I gave HIM a card for counseling for her. She whirled around and told me to fuck off and shut the fuck up. He was speechless. I told her that I am sorry that HE upset her so badly by bringing her for an abortion.

Stan, as usual, walked me to my car. When we got there, I turned around for one last look at the abortion center. I only saw Anna, holding up one of Chris's aborted baby pictures and twirling around like a ballerina. Anna has a problem.

2006-05-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

Monday, May 22, Alicia called me as I was driving to St. Martha's for Mass at 7:30 AM. She is very concerned about a young Mexican girl whom she spoke to on Saturday. She thinks she may come this morning for an abortion. I assured her that I would be there before the door opens. But the problem is that I do not speak Spanish, and this girl speaks only a little English. When I got to the center, Alicia was there talking to someone in their car. For a Monday the parking lot is rather empty. Hopefully that is a sign that fewer women are coming here for abortions.

Alicia and I talked to women and handed out information on better options than abortion. Alicia gives out information about a wrongful death case that the abortionist, Dr. Ann, lost a few years ago. She will take women in her car to a CPC which has ultrasound equipment but is located quite far away from this center. I spoke to a CPC director, Laura, about bringing people to a CPC. She strongly advised against it for several good reasons, and I agree with her. Alicia is willing to take the risk. Too bad there isn't a CPC within walking distance. The Mexican girl did not come.

Stan came to help. He tells people who are coming and going that this is not a place for Christians. Some people actually argue with him about that. I like when Stan is here. He has told me about difficult times in his life, which I think has made him very strong and wise. He wears a sign that says, "Pregnant? Call 1 800 no abort".

Chris came and said he has a court date today. He was accused of assault by a pro-abort who attacked him. I am sure that Chris would never assault anyone. He shows everyone who even comes near the center huge aborted baby pictures which he carries around with him. He covers his van, which is parked across the street, with more huge aborted baby pictures. They are horrifying. He gets in people's face. Kathy, Stan, and I have a different approach. Alicia is somewhere in between. Even though we do not agree on how to approach women to turn them away from this wretched place, we understand that Satan is the divider and that he will win if we fail to stand together.

When Kathy arrived, we began our prayers. Chris leaves us alone during this time. Most of the women who will have an abortion are inside the clinic by 9:30 AM. We pray loudly so that everyone inside the clinic can hear us. Usually some will come out to smoke, make a phone call, or go to their car. That is another opportunity for us to persuade them to leave. Kathy is in charge. She arranges for one person to do the talking, while the others concentrate on praying. This works very well. It is impossible to do both. I am the talker when I am there. I think that is because the others have been coming for years, and they have talked plenty!

On Tuesday, May 23, I was alone at the abortion center early on because Stan was with the Sisters of Charity. A mother and daughter came first. I asked her if her daughter is pregnant. She looked me right in the eyes and said, "no, I am". She was young enough, but I knew that was a lie. I acted like I did not hear her say that. I gave her options for a better way. I usually make the point that she is a mother now, she has a baby in her womb...it's just a reality check.

Next, two women who looked like either sisters or lesbians got out of a car. They were very tall and thin. They had bright red streaks running through their black hair which was severely pulled back in a ponytail. They both had on tight jeans and red knit tops. Their features were very sharp. They refused to make eye contact with me when they came to the sidewalk. They were both talking and laughing as if they were walking in to a tattoo parlor. They would not respond to anything I said.

Carl, a homeless man, came by and asked me if I was a reporter from the News. I asked him why he keeps asking me that. He said I look like one. I asked him if that was good or bad, and he just laughed. He has no idea what we are doing at the center. He talked about his newspaper and other things, but I have trouble understanding him.

Then Charles came by to catch the 10 AM bus. I have not seen him for awhile and asked him about his leg. He said it is better. As we talked, Joe, Richard, and Kathy came to help and pray. I can tell that Charles likes talking to the men, especially Stan. How about those Tigers?

We started to pray and Charles joined us for the first time. Kathy explained to him how we pray and what our prayers mean, and I gave him our prayer sheet while Kathy gave him a Rosary. He prayed the entire time and even knelt with us for the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. I felt bad when the bus came and he struggled to get up to catch it. I think his leg still hurts.

While we prayed the two strange looking women came out of the abortion center. I stood up to try to talk with them, but one of them shouted, "fuck you", and then began to mock me. Everything they said was crass and caustic. After that, they mocked our prayers and went into fits of laughter. A woman who came for an abortion stepped out of the clinic for a cigarette, and they ran to her and pulled her into the parking lot away from me. I told her that they cannot help her. They fired more insults at me. The poor woman did not know what to do so she went to sit in her car. I thought maybe we should say the St. Michael the Archangel prayer early! I kept my eyes on them the entire time and continued to pray facing them...for the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have Mercy on us and on the whole world.

We gathered our things to leave, and Chris came to take over. He usually stays until the abortion clinic closes at 2 PM. As I walked to my car, the song he was singing at the abortion center door started to fade away, " ....Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red, black and white, they are precious in His sight......."

2006-05-15T18:50:00.000-05:00

I have been away for two weeks, spending most of that time at our annual trade show in Las Vegas. I notice on this trip that the Strip looks more disturbing than ever! Or maybe after all this sidewalk counseling, I am just more aware of how perverted the culture there really is. What about all that exploitation of women? Where are the feminist? Do they think men have the "right to choose" people as sex objects? Hmm...maybe sidewalk counseling to stop prostitution would be a good thing...the strategy would be the same as at abortion centers....offer better options (oh, and some clothes too!)

I started my first day back praying very earnestly during Mass at St. Martha's before going to the aborion clinic. I especially prayed to the Holy Spirit to diminish me so that He can use me as His instrument... His work, His disposition, His Words.

I was immediately met at the clinic by very hostile mothers seeking abortions for their pregnant teenage daughters. A few stopped to talk and took the referral cards to the CPCs, but most had some harsh words that they felt compelled to rifle at Stan and me. OUCH! When Kathy came our mood lightened up as it always does with her cheerful personality. We prayed, and then left. Chris took over. What a tough morning....maybe tomorrow the Spirit will diminish some of those hard hearts!

This morning, now May 16, I was alone for the first forty-five minutes because Stan was working for the Sisters of Charity. A young Hispanic girl pulled in to the parking lot driving a red Element. I approached her and she stopped to talk with me. She told me that she thinks she is pregnant. I asked her if she is here to arrange an abortion. Her face fell and she asked me if it is still an abortion if she is only two or three weeks pregnant. When I told her yes, and showed her how her baby looks at three weeks, her eyes filled with tears. She told me she could not ever have an abortion. We talked about it, and I gave her the information for the CPC, including directions. She said she would go there immediately, but when she left the parking lot, she went in the opposite direction. I suspected that she went to pick someone up to accompany her.

There are a lot of men today. I feel like telling them, "Hey ....be a MAN, take responsibility for what happened and protect her and YOUR child!" But I don't say that because if they are willing to hurt their girlfriend and child, they might hurt me too. I do tell the woman, right in front of him, that by bringing her to an abortion clinic he obviously does not love her or care about her. Most men take off leaving her all alone, and then when it is all over, she calls on her cell phone to be picked up. His problem is gone, her's is just beginning.

I was approaching another young Hispanic girl just as Kathy arrived. She stopped and we talked while standing part way in the driveway. She is considering an abortion; she is confused and frightened. She wants a pregnancy test and ultrasound. Her name is Sandy. She said she cannot embarrass her parents with this pregnancy. I assured her as a parent myself, that after they go ballistic, they will get over it and help her. Clearly, she does not want an abortion. We talked about how easy it is to rationalize doing something that is obviously wrong when we are trying to get out of a tough situation. I told her about a good CPC that will help her. They will even council her on how to approach her parents about this big news. She asked me to tell her everything that would happen to her inside the abortion clinic. I told her in detail. She looked at me and said, "I am going to cry." I asked Kathy to join us. Kathy was very good with her. She is kind and gentle, but very matter-of-fact. Sandy listened intently, and asked questions. She believes in God, and Kathy told her if she does God's will, He will help her. We talked more about help available for her.

Suddenly, we were startled by a loud honking horn. Sandy commented how rude that was. I told her that the rude person in the huge silver Lincoln Continental honking at us is the abortionist. She looked at Kathy and me in disgust and said, "he must really hate you." Then Sandy noticed Chris with his gigantic pictures and asked me what they were. I told her they were gruesome aborted baby pictures. Sandy asked me if she could see them. That surprised me, so I called Chris over and he showed her the pictures and he spoke to her as well. Sandy agreed to go to the CPC. I called the director, Laura, and she said she would take care of our Sandy. Sandy left to meet with Laura. The abortionist, Dr. Ann, called the police to report that we were blocking his driveway. He does hate us.

A red van pulled in to the parking lot by the bar. I waited for them to come out of the car, but they just sat there. It was obvious that they were coming to the abortion clinic. Kathy and I started praying, and after a few minutes, the red van left. Thanks be to God. Hopefully, they will never come back here.

As Kathy and I finished our Rosary, and started the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on our knees, the young Hispanic girl who drove the red Element returned. I was very disappointed that she came back to the abortion clinic. My hunch that she went to pick someone up was right. Her young Hispanic BOYfriend came towards me. I told him that I talked with his girlfriend and that she does not want an abortion. He smiled and told me that they are having the baby. I told him that I know he is lying to me because I can see the guilt written all over his face....and of course because he is here! I showed him where to get help, and sternly told him not to force her to have an abortion. I told him that she is scared and that they will hurt her here. He stopped smiling. He went back to the car and she came to the sidewalk. I approached her and she put her head down and ran past to me to the door. After Kathy and I finished praying we walked to our cars and looked back to see her with the white folder, which is the twenty-four hour notice packet to prepare for the abortion. Hopefully, Kathy or I will be there if she comes back for the abortion. He is pressuring her.

It is now Wednesday morning, May 17. Laura said she is counseling Sandy. She is twenty weeks pregnant! Laura is the real counselor, she is the expert. I don't like the term sidewalk counselor, we are really more like sidewalk intercessors.

The Hispanic girl in the red Element did not come back for an abortion. That is such good news. The people in the red van did not come back either. Today is a slow day for the abortionist. Most everyone that came took our referral card to a CPC. Some left without having an abortion, and some left without the dreaded white 24 hour notice folder.

I should be elated about Sandy. But instead I am troubled about how difficult it is to talk with a girl/woman who arrives at the abortion clinic with her mother, boyfriend, or husband. I can see that she does not want the abortion. But she is in a position where she has no control. She is not treated like a person, she is an object someone owns. I suppose that is similar to a prostitute in Vegas. She is not treated like a person either; she is rented out by an owner as a product to use. If grown up walking, talking, thinking, persons can so easily be treated like objects, what chance does an unwanted unborn baby have?

2006-04-28T13:05:00.000-05:00

This is a 4D ultrasound.

The priest at St. Martha's this morning talked about the Apostles' joy and thanksgiving to God after they were scourged and reprimanded by the Sanhedrin for teaching the Word, Acts 4. They suffered for Christ. The priest said we are rarely challenged that way today. I immediately thought about the sidewalk counselors at the abortion clinic. Well, there you have it, we should also be joyful and thankful to God when we are insulted, spit on, and among other things, threatened. The priest brought our attention to the Beatitude that says "Blest are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of slander against you because of me. Be glad and rejoice, for your reward is great in heaven" Mt 5:11-12. I need to concentrate on that because I occasionally return insults from the pro-aborts with my own "pointed" remarks. I will try to be more joyful (and quiet) when some passer-by tells me where to go or describes what he would like to do to me! I can do that.....with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, of course.

When I got to the clinic this morning, Alicia and Meg were there talking with the women gathered at the clinic door. They are the "Friday Ladies" Stan told me about. This is the first time I have come on a Friday. I am glad to finally meet them and join them to turn people away from this horrid place. They are aggressive, but nice. They worked hard on a woman who brought her friend to the clinic for what she said was her friend's tenth abortion. Hard to believe. The "friend" drove a car with a Rosary hanging from the mirror, and a holy card of the Sacred Heart on the dashboard. The ladies asked how she could be a Catholic, have Sacramentals, and be an accomplice to an abortion. She would not take responsibility as an escort nor bring her friend out of the clinic to talk with us. She has ears but will not hear. I met Jim and Jane who came to pray. Alicia and Meg continued to work, I backed them up, and we all prayed the Rosary, the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on our knees, and other prayers.

Chris came just as I was leaving. Before I passed the clinic driveway, a young black girl came on to the sidewalk. I stopped her to talk. She was interested in the options I offered to her. She is only eighteen, she has a one year old baby girl, and does not think she can handle another baby. We talked for about ten minutes. Chris joined the conversation later. I asked her name, and she said Patricia. When I told her that was my name too, she looked surprised and started to cry. She said that must be the sign she asked God to send her when she drove in to the parking lot and saw me standing in front of the clinic. I told her that she knows what God wants her to do. She is very reluctant to abort; I think she will have her baby. I told her that she is very beautiful, and the son or daughter whom she carries will probably look just like her. Her eyes lit up and she smiled. That reaction truly revealed her youthfulness. This is a GIRL, not a woman. She told me that the father wants the baby. I asked her if he would ever forgive her for killing his child. She shook her head and winced. I told her that she will always be the mother of two children. I said that she will sadly remember this date if she has the abortion, she will calculate and sadly remember the birth date, and remember the baby she never knew on Mother's Day. I asked her if she thought her future would be haunted with the constant regret and memories of the abortion. She said she has a friend who had an abortion and every night she hears babies crying. I told her to listen to her friend.

We talked about her little baby girl, motherhood, and her church. She looked at Chris's gruesome aborted baby pictures. Then he showed her a picture he received yesterday of a newborn baby that survived because the mother changed her mind and left this very same clinic. Chris showed her that baby who has the love of his mother, a name, and a future. I told her that there are no mothers who regret having their baby, but all mothers sooner or later regret an abortion. I asked her not to make this ugly clinic's dumpster or sewer drain her baby's burial place. I told her that the doctor only wants her money, he does not care about her. Patricia took our literature and finally left the clinic. Chris and I said a prayer for her.

As I walked to my car it occurred to me that no one persecuted us today! Gosh, here I was all prepared to absorb the insults with joy and thanksgiving just like the Apostles. I thanked God for sparing us today, and asked Him to renew our strength to rejoice and be glad when inevitable future attacks occur, probably on Monday. It's no wonder some people think we are crazy....go ahead...insult me....make my day!

2006-04-25T20:56:00.000-05:00

I went to St. Martha's for Mass and arrived late as always. I rushed inside, and discovered that there is no Mass on Tuesday. So I decided to pray in front of the statue of Mary located inside of the church. I knelt down and started praying the Memorare. Then I looked up at the statue. Yikes, Mary looked pissed! Who would make (or purchase) such a mean looking face on Mary? SCARY! I apologized to Mary and immediately got up and went to pray near the the veiled Presence of our Lord in the Tabernacle.

The good news is that the only cars in the abortion clinic parking lot this morning belong to the staff. It is cold and rainy. I parked my car, grabbed my really cheap umbrella, and headed for the front of the clinic. The parking lot stayed empty for quite some time. Since I was alone and freezing cold, I began to pray the Rosary without waiting for Kathy. During the first decade, a man driving a beat up old car pulled in to the bar parking lot. He got out and asked me if the clinic is open. I said yes, it opens at 9 AM. It's not as if I can leave the sidewalk and try to open the door. The cameras are on, and since I am now a known "activist" at this clinic, I have been warned not to step on their property or they will call the police. That seems so silly to me.

The man tried the door and it was unlocked. He went back in the car and and a woman got out and headed for the clinic. I talked to her and gave her information about a better place to get help. The man drove off. Just as she entered the clinic a Muslim woman came on to the sidewalk. She was covered from head to toe. I could just barely see her eyes through the slits in the cloth that covered her face. It is so unusual for a Muslim to come to an abortion clinic. She was alone. I asked her if she knew this is an abortion clinic and children are killed here. She would not speak. She shook her head yes, took my information and went inside. When she came out of the clinic she had the white abortion envelope in her hands. I said, "Are you coming back here for an abortion?" She looked at me and then rushed to her car. If she comes back, one of us will be here to try to turn her away from this wretched place.

No one else came to the clinic. I finished praying the Rosary while I struggled with my umbrella. It was so windy that it occasionally turned inside out. I am sure that looked quite comical. Stan's car must still be giving him trouble, and Kathy may have stayed away because of this horrible weather. She is recovering from an illness. With no one else coming for an abortion or services, I left the clinic. I saw Chris park his van. We spoke briefly, and he headed for the empty clinic. Maybe they will close early today. Maybe no one else will come. Maybe just like the Dr. Ahn's babies, his business will die.

2006-04-24T10:47:00.000-05:00

I drove past the abortion clinic to park on the street and saw Stan's woody wagon with his big sign that hangs on it saying. "Pregnant? call 800-4-options." He was not around last week because his car has a radiator problem. I am glad he is here this morning, it is very intense to be alone at the clinic, and our prayers are much better with two or more!

The women and their companions came to the door in one big group. That made it more difficult to talk with them and give them the card with information on where to go for free health services with caring providers. Most took the information, but some were very hard hearted. There was one young white couple who really stuck out in the group of about ten people. The door was still locked, so I had a captive audience. I stressed that they have other options besides abortion, including adoption. Then I heard the click of the door lock, and they all rushed inside.

The young white male, Justin, came out for a smoke. I stepped closer to him, and he spoke first. He said he spoke to his girlfriend, Stacey, and they changed their mind on having the abortion. He said he does not believe it is the right thing to do. There is something about his demeanor that causes me to doubt that he is sincere. So, I asked him if he is lying to me. I told him that I have heard a lot of bullshit in front of this clinic from people trying to justify getting rid of their child because the timing is bad. He looked surprised and insisted they just now decided not to abort the baby. I asked him, "Then why are you still here, whatever could she be doing inside the clinic?" He said she is getting an ultrasound and then they are leaving. I showed him where he could get a free ultrasound, and could get information on adoption. He said that they want to keep the baby. I mentioned that giving the baby to loving, mature, married, and financially stable parents is very unselfish and noble. He looked at me with a blank stare. He said they are going to her father for help. Hmmm...those are big decisions made in a very short time inside of an abortion clinic! There is something about him ...I want to believe him....but I have my doubts.

Charles came by to talk with Stan about the Tigers. He hung around for awhile, and then got on his bus. Connie waved to us from the party store, she must be feeling better since she did not come by to chat. Stan and I prayed, and then Chris came to take over. He suggested to me that I quit my job to spend more time at the abortion clinic. I ignored that comment, but Stan told him to leave me alone because I am here enough. They are friends, but they can really go at each other.

Justin came out of the clinic when Chris started singing his Jesus songs at the door. This time Chris worked him over, in his way. Justin gave Chris the same story. I think it is the smirky look on his face that tells me that he just may be yanking our chain for his own personal amusement. I hope I am wrong. When Stan and I were walking away to our cars, I glanced back at the clinic and saw Justin and Stacey leaving. They walked to their car holding hands. She did not have the abortion. I asked Stan if he thinks Justin is telling the truth. He gave me the same answer he always gives me.....let it go; leave it in God' hands.

2006-04-20T15:29:00.000-05:00

THIS is tissue!

Chris told me that the mother we spoke to earlier in the week brought her young high school daughter back to the clinic for the abortion. She decided to eliminate what she called the "burden" that her child brought upon her. It does not occur to her that she is placing a different kind of burden upon her own child; one that could last for an eternity.

I am concerned about Stan. He is not here again today. I don't have his phone number, maybe Chris or Kathy will check on him. I miss his company and conversation. Without Stan, I have only the birds to keep me company for the forty-five minutes from when the clinic opens until Kathy and others arrive. An older couple walking down the sidewalk with a bag from the Palace Party Store asked me about Stan. For a short time they watched me interact with people coming to clinic. They offered to stay with me for awhile. I assured them I would be fine, and they walked on.

Every person going in to the clinic took my card referring them to a better place than this dirty abortion clinic. I have, on occasion, commented to people to take a good look at this place before entering. It is a free standing building with parking lots on each side, an alley in the back, and the front is right off the road with a nice little sidewalk for us. The rectangular-shaped building is about two thousand square feet. The planter boxes in front of the clinic are full of black lava rocks accented with millions of white cigarette butts. Trash is wedged in and under the one sand cherry shrub at the corner of the building next to the bar's parking lot. The only other shrub is a sorry looking small white spruce planted in a weird spot in a lava rock bed near the door. The dark tinted glass windows and door are streaked with dirt, and blobs of something unidentifiable are splattered on them. The other windows on the building are glass block. The white paint on the brick facing is peeling, and the green plastic awning is faded. Weeds are now growing in the lava rock and in the sidewalk and driveway cracks. I wonder about the cleanliness inside.

A Mexican couple with their little boy came towards the clinic. She told me she is pregnant. I talked to them about going elsewhere. I showed him where he could take his wife for pregnancy care. They listened, asked questions, got directions, and then they left. Then suddenly a pink taxi pulled in front of the clinic exactly behind me. I spun around and heard the man driving the taxi shout to the woman getting out of the passenger front door, "Don't listen to her, don't take anything from her." I told her I have information on better places she could go. I told her she has options, and she took the information and practically ran inside the clinic. He parked in the lot, but never got out of the car. I noticed a small girl in the back seat.

Kathy and Katie came to help. I was very glad to see them. Chris was there, but he leaves us alone during our time in front of the clinic. His approach is completely incompatible with ours. He is relentless with those aborted baby pictures, and he is very insistant that people take his literature. But, he is there all day, and he does have success turning mothers away from the clinic.

Kathy told me that a CPC called her to inform her that they are now taking care of a mother who came to them on Monday morning after talking with a lady in front of an abortion clinic ....that was me! That does soften the blows of all the nasty remarks we get from people driving by or walking past the clinic. Speaking of that, I am now in a bit of a stare-down with a young motorcyclist. Half way through our Rosary, a motorcyclist always stops behind us and revs his engine. The first time he did that we all jumped. Now it is his little game. So when he pulls behind us, I whirl around and stare at him while I continue to pray. He stares back at me through his helmet. We are only about four feet away from each other. The engine rev is no longer effective. I am praying for him (no, really, I am). I can see Kathy grinning when he moves on. Stan would not approve. He has warned me not to engage with people attacking us. He is right, I should not be distracted so easily from the reason we are there....to stop the real attacks, the ones going on inside the clinic.

2006-04-17T10:56:00.000-05:00

This picture is a 4D ultrasound of an unborn baby

I was late for Mass at St. Martha's this morning. Routinely, I go to the abortion clinic directly from the church which is only about a ten minute drive. As usual, I was in front of the abortion clinic door before 9 AM. Stan was not there; he must be working for the Sisters of Charity today. The abortionist pulled in to the parking lot earlier than normal. It will be a busy Monday. Even though I can't see him through his car's smoky glass window I stare right at the silver Lincoln Continental until he pulls in to his parking space in the back of the clinic.

Cars began to fill the lot and women and girls stepped on to the sidewalk to enter the clinic. Almost everyone I spoke to took a card with referrals to crisis pregnancy centers or other service oriented organizations. I also gave everyone a card showing development of a baby from an embryo to birth. They took the information, but today most were not very receptive to conversation.

It is another day of young girls coming to abort. The girls are always willing to talk. I smile at them, they smile back, and they stop and talk. Typical teenage girl behavior. But the girls shut down as soon as their mothers approach. Talking with the mother is a totally different conversation. It is a challenge for me to be understanding and charitable towards a mother who would bring her daughter to this horrid place in order to get rid of her grandchild while putting her own child's life in physical, mental, and spiritual peril.

Kathy was not able to come this morning, so I loudly recited our prayers, which among others include a Rosary, and the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy said kneeling. It is humbling to kneel on the sidewalk in front of such a busy street, and even more so without my fellow sidewalk counselors kneeling with me. After I finished the prayers, Chris took over.

He immediately entered into conversation with the mother of a high school girl that was planning to return in two days for the abortion. He seemed to be making progress until another mother came out of the clinic. This mother's child was already in the process of the abortion. Of course, she encouraged the other mother to go through with it telling her that it will give her "peace" (honest, that is the word she used) knowing she will not have to bear another financial burden. They were feeding off each other and talking about how difficult it is to take care of these babies whom their unmarried daughters continuously produce, in spite of using contraceptives. They agreed that it would be best if the age for a "tube tie" dropped under twenty-one. Since they are using abortion as a contraceptive, it would be cheaper to sterilize the teenage girl so that she could have unlimited sex, without the consequence of reproduction. Never mind about STD's! They assured Chris that God understands and approves of not bringing unwanted babies in to this world. Wow, where in the Bible did they find that? After all, she said the girl getting the abortion is going off to college this fall; who would take care of her baby at college? A baby does not fit into the college scene.

In the mean time Chris is holding his gruesome extremely large aborted baby pictures. I hesitated to interupt Chris, but I could not take another ridiculously absurd illogical comment! So I said, "Ladies, do you honestly think that God would want you to mutilate your grandchild, like in these pictures, so that your daughter can go away to a college or so that you can avoid a financial burden"? They looked at the pictures right in front of their faces and winced. I told them about the alternatives, including adoption. The resources for them are all there. They said they could never adopt out their own flesh and blood. The next question that begs to be asked is, "So you would kill your own flesh and blood rather than give him or her to a loving family"? They ignored that, and went right back to financial burden. What a circular conversation, going nowhere!

I remained silent and listened to Chris. I gave the little high school girl who was holding the white abortion envelope a sympathetic look. I asked her what she thinks. Her mother snapped that it doesn't matter what she thinks, she won't be the one bearing the burden. I wondered which burden she meant. The young girl and I locked eyes for several seconds, and then she shrugged at me and hid her sad little face in her mother's back. Just like the baby she carries, she isn't really there.

2006-04-13T14:50:00.000-05:00

Today is Holy Thursday, and a very busy morning at the abortion clinic. I was there before 9 AM to try to convince women and girls to go elsewhere for "health" services. A high school girl came on to the sidewalk to go to the abortion clinic. She had a very somber look, and she was all alone. Her boyfriend never got out of the car to talk or wait with her. I asked her if she is pregnant and here for an abortion. She said yes. She listened to what I said, and she took the referral information card. She did not have an abortion that morning. She did not look to be a day older than sixteen. Two Mexican women arrived, and insisted they could not understand English. I doubt that, and kept on talking. They took the information.

Two young black men wearing extremely saggy jeans and doo-rags (SP?) brought a young girl to the clinic. I spoke to one of them when he came on to the sidewalk. He said he is bringing her here for an abortion. She hurried inside. I asked him if he would go inside and talk to her to change her mind so that she will do the right thing. He just looked at me and shrugged. I could tell that conversation with him would be fruitless. But Chris engaged in conversation with both men. I watched because I thought Chris was putting himself at risk showing them his humungous pictures of aborted babies. They clearly did not care.

Kathy came and we prayed as people drove by shouting various words of either insults or support. We pray loudly for about forty-five minutes. Our prayers include the Rosary as we stand, and then the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy as we kneel. Kneeling to pray in front of the clinic on a busy urban street is the most humbling thing I have ever done. Any pride or vanity I have in my heart at that time is completely eliminated! We pray for our country, our families, priests and clergy, public officials, abortionist and their staff, and for unborn babies and their mothers who do not want them. Today a women came out of the clinic and asked us to pray for peace in the world. Kathy told me that often people will come out to ask for prayers for special intentions. The clinic will be closed tomorrow for Good Friday. Can you imagine how hard it would be to witness such a catastrophic offense to God on the day of His Son's sorrowful Passion and Death on the cross?

2006-04-12T21:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Stan drove the Sisters of Charity around on their errands, so I was solo until Kathy arrived later. This is the worst day I have experienced at the abortion clinic. The mothers that came for abortions and services were very hard hearted. The men and women who brought them to the clinic were even worse. Even the comments from the street were harsh. A young girl who came for an abortion came in and out of the clinic several times. She was either smoking or using her cell phone. She had the foulest mouth I have ever heard. I asked her how it could be that such ugliness could come out of a mouth on such a pretty face. She laughed, I guess that was a compliment to her. She decided against having the abortion and left.

I talked with a very quiet couple. He told me he brought her for an abortion. She was teary eyed. I told her that she is now a mother, and whatever she decides, she always will be. I gave him a card with information about health services for pregnant women, including adoption. I got the feeling that they were very uncomfortable with the other people waiting who were so incredibly crude and rude. They left before the abortionist arrived. I think they will contact a CPC on the card.

Kathy and Joe came. We prayed, and then as always, Chris took over when we left. I told Kathy that talking to most of the people at the clinic was like talking to a wall. Most were totally oblivious to the fact that they might be harming themselves and taking the life of an unborn baby. They did not care. How sad. The sidewalk talk was difficult, but our prayers were loud and clear.

Today was a better day at the abortion clinic, if that is possible. Unfortunately, it was very busy. Cars kept on rolling in to the parking lot. Some women listened and took information. One grandmother shook her cane at me and told me that she was going to kick my ass. I smiled at her not to be rude in return, but because I thought that was so ridiculous! She went inside, and then came out immediately to tell me that Mary is nothing, and that she is a Jehovah Witness. I said, "OK, think what you want about Mary, but this is not a place for a Christian." That really made her mad and she swore at me and called me crazy. Then a car drove by and a women stuck her head out the window and screamed, "GO HOME."

I approached a women who came around the corner on to the sidewalk. I asked her if she is pregnant, and she said yes. I talked to her about going to a CPC for health services. She told me that she is picking up the white envelope and considering an abortion. I told her where she could go for help with her pregnancy, material needs, and financial support. I said that they will stay with her to help her for at least five years. She told me that she is struggling with supporting herself and her four year old. She said if she could get that kind of help, she would have her baby. She is eleven weeks pregnant. I showed her a picture of what her baby looks like at eleven weeks. We both smiled looking at the picture. I offered my cell phone for her to use to call Laura at the CPC. She talked with Laura and I gave her directions. Then she gave me a big hug.....sure beats a kick in the ass! She introduced me to her friend driving the car and to her four year old, and left for the CPC.

Kathy came and we prayed. That really irritated the Jehova grandma and she came out and called us fools. Another car came by and a woman opened her door to shout at us. I winced expecting another insult. She yelled really loud and clear, "HEY....thank you very much....at least some people care."

2006-04-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

It is Holy Week. I went to Mass at St. Martha's this morning, and then headed to the abortion clinic. Stan was just pulling in a parking space in front of the condos when I got there. He came to my car to walk with me to the clinic. The cars started pulling in the abortion clinic lot as soon as we stood in front of the door. First came two women and a man. They were not interested in what we had to say. The man took my referral cards and threw them on the cement by the door. Most of the women and girls coming this morning were leaving with the white envelope which prepares them for an abortion. Most of them listened and took our information. If they choose abortion instead of life, we will know tomorrow.

Charles from the neighborhood came by to talk. He was in a good mood; he talked a little about his family. His sons went to St. Martin De Porres. He is retired from Ford. He chatted away as he waited for the bus. He always talks about some kind of problem with his legs. Connie waved to us from across the street near the Palace Party Store. She is in a good mood too. She does not need to use my cell phone today. That is a good sign!

Stan had to leave before the time we start our prayers, and Kathy did not come today. Chris was there and began showing his larger-than-life aborted baby pictures while talking to the women through the front windows and door of the clinic. I told him I will pray the usual prayers by myself today. He left me alone so that I could pray and continue to talk with the women and men coming and going from the clinic. Charles watched me pray and said a few good "AMENS" here and there. I was glad he contributed. Before I finished, he waved good bye and hopped on the bus.

Today was the first time I prayed alone, and I must say it is nicer to have others to pray with. It is difficult to concentrate on the prayers and at the same time on who is coming and going from the clinic. It is humbling to be without the support of others while praying out loud, and especially while kneeling on the sidewalk to say the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy.

Just as I was leaving I saw a girl coming towards the clinic. I remember her from last week. I know she had an abortion and is coming back for a check up. I stopped her and told her that I remember how sad she was while waiting for her abortion. She turned her eyes away from me, she is still very sad. I offered her post-abortive counseling information and she took it. She walked into the clinic, and I walked away to my car. Chris began talking through the door again. I heard him say, "you are a mother now, and even if you abort your baby you will still be a mother. Be a mother to a live baby, not a dead baby". I shuddered.

2006-04-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Chris told me that business at this abortion clinic is down. He said they have gone from about 25-30 abortions per week to about 15-20 per week. This information came from the clinic staff. This week has been very slow. Praise be to God. Yesterday I think the abortionist killed 2-3 babies, compared with the usual 5-6. Generally the mothers having abortions come just before 9 AM, and wear sweat pants. They look sad; often they are crying.

I approached a couple who were walking towards the clinic. She hurried inside before I could talk with her. I spoke to her companion, who is her brother. I asked him why he would bring his sister here where only harm can come to her and her baby. He said that she is an adult and old enough to make her own decision. He started walking away but I stepped in front of him. This is a no-no legally, and Stan will remind me of that. I could not let him go with such an uncaring remark about his own sibling. I asked him if he would protect his sister if her life was in danger. He knew where this was going and remained silent as I stood in front of him still blocking him from the parking lot. He was a huge guy, so he could have easily moved me aside and walked away, but he did not. I told him that his sister's physical, mental, and spiritual life is in danger, and his little nephew or niece will die. He is an accomplice. I showed him where he could take her for help from caring people. He took the information. I asked him to BE A LOVING BROTHER to her right now and get her out of there. I stepped aside, and he went in his car and sat.

Stan and I prayed in front of the abortion clinic door. Like Kathy, I prayed so that everyone inside could hear. Stan continued the prayers when I stopped to talk with the few people who came and went. I urged them to go elsewhere for health services so as not to support this abortion clinic. They were receptive. When we finished, Chris relieved us. I told him about the brother and sister. Half-way to my car, I saw the brother go in to the clinic. His sister could not have had the abortion yet because the "doctor" just pulled in. Chris talked with the brother. I told Stan that it is hard not knowing what will happen: Will he take her out of there, will she change her mind, or will she abort her baby? He looked at me with those intense blue eyes and said, "Leave it in God's hands."

I don't know which is more heart-breaking: The women who come alone, or the frightened teenage girls brought there by much older boyfriends, brothers, or fathers? Some girls come with their angry mother. Whatever the scenario, it is never happy, it is never good, and there is never a day that goes by at the clinic without tears on the sidewalk.

2006-04-05T10:23:00.000-05:00

I saw a young black couple park in the Palace party store parking lot. I didn't know whether they planned to go to the store, or to the abortion clinic across the street. As I walked down the sidewalk towards them on my way to the clinic, I approached them just as they got out of their car. I asked them if they were going to the abortion clinic. He said yes, and that they had already received alternative information and they made their decision. I walked to the clinic with them and asked them to reconsider. I told them that this abortion will not solve their problem, it will only make things worse. I said they will always remember this day, and the guilt will be a great burden. They will know what they did to their own child. They did not respond. As they entered the clinic I told them to please change their hearts and minds and come back out to talk.

It is another cold and gloomy morning in front of the abortion clinic. How appropriate. Stan is there ahead of me. He talked with a woman and a girl, possibly a mother and daughter. The woman told Stan to mind his own business. He told her that it is his business to warn her that this is not a Christian place, and that she should leave. They went inside. Hopefully they will come out before it is too late. I saw a young woman coming our way down the sidewalk from the other side of the clinic near a bar. I walked towards her so that I could have more time to talk with her. She is pregnant. She is considering abortion. She went inside and walked out with the white envelope which is the twenty-four hour notice and preparation information. We talked some more. She started to cry. At least she is taking this seriously.

Kathy came to lead us in pray. She does this very well, and has a great big voice that combines with ours to penetrate the windows, doors, and walls of the clinic so that everyone can hear us. We are cold, but our prayers are warm and sincere. We finished our prayers, and Chris came to the front door of the clinic where we stand and kneel. He said he thinks our prayers are very powerful. He said he can hear us from quite a ways down the street. Chris takes over talking to the women through the closed door pleading with them not to take the life of their unborn baby. The good news of the morning is that the clinic is very slow today. We hope our efforts contribute to turning people away from this clinic which causes brutal deaths by mutilation and the painful destruction of many souls.

2006-04-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

I was at the clinic by myself waiting to talk with the women arriving for their abortions. But today they are not women, they are girls. All of them just teenagers. They were accompanied by what appeared to be their mother. They all listened to me and took the referral cards for help elsewhere. Sadly, they all went inside. After awhile, I saw a white woman and black man walking towards the abortion clinic, they were a little ways away. I walked towards them so that I could talk with them as far away from the clinic as possible. She said she was having a prgnancy test. I talked to them about going to the CPC for the test. I told them they could get help at the CPC if she is pregnant. They did not seem agitated or distressed. He said he would look at the information I gave him, and he seemed sincere.

Charles, a man from the neighborhood, came by to wait for the bus. We talked about how cold it is today. He was nervous that he might have missed his bus. The bus stop is next to the driveway of the abortion clinic parking lot. I was standing partially in the driveway when the big silver Lincoln Continental whipped in to the parking lot. It came so close to me that the car brushed against my coat. Startled, I stared right at the driver as Charles pulled me back. Now I know what the abortionist looks like. He stared right back at me. Charles said since the abortionist has no problem with murdering innocent babies, he probably would have no problem murdering me for trying to ruin his business. Charles was serious about that. He told me to be careful.

Kathy, Richard, and Joe came to pray. We prayed so that everyone inside the clinic could hear us. A woman and teenage girl came out. She could not have had an abortion yet, and she did not have the white envelope they receive to prepare for the abortion. I talked with the woman, she did not say much, and she looked very unhappy.

Just as we finished praying, the black man and white woman came out to the sidewalk. They looked upset. I asked her if she is pregnant. She said yes, and then started to cry. She was holding the white envelope. He put his head down. I walked next to him and reminded him to call the CPC for help, and gave him another card with the address and phone number. I pointed to the white envelope and reiterated that the abortion clinic will not solve any problems, it only makes everything worse. I pleaded with him to call the CPC.

Chris came with his giant signs picturing aborted babies. He started talking to the mothers through the filthy smoked glass windows at the clinic. They can see us through the glass, but we cannot see inside the clinic. We gathered up our kneeling pads, prayer cards, and holy water and started walking to our cars to go our separate ways. Tomorrow we will know what the woman decides to put into the trash: The white envelope, or her innocent unborn baby.

2006-04-03T12:46:00.000-05:00

On my way to the clinic today I missed an exit which delayed me by about ten minutes. Now I will not arrive before the doors open. Instead of feeling frustrated about that, I told myself that God must have a reason for causing this delay. I was hoping Stan would be at the clinic early to talk with the mothers going in for their abortion. Thank God, he was there early. The parking lot was full. It is a busy Monday for the abortionist and his staff. Stan filled me in on who went inside for an abortion. He said he spoke to every person, and they all took the referral cards. This is helpful because during the wait, the mothers and their escorts will come out for various reasons such as to smoke, get some air, or go to their car. The "waiting line", or "death row" as I call it, is a line of closely spaced chairs in a very small hall area. It looks very uncomfortable, and the wait can be very long because the abortions are done on a first come, first serve basis.

First to come out of the clinic was a fifty-some year old woman. She was crying. I asked her if she is sad about someone inside having an abortion. She said her daughter is inside aborting her gandchild. I told her how sorry I am to hear that. I asked her why her daughter would do such a terrible thing. She said her daughter already has too many kids she can't care for. She said she even offered to take the new born baby herself. I asked the grandmother to bring her out to the sidewalk so I could talk with her. She ignored my request. I asked her if she would go back in and try again to change her daughter's mind before it is too late. I showed her on the card where she could go for help for the unborn baby and for the other children too. I asked her not to give up, and to bring her out to talk with us. She went back inside, but did not come back out.

A very young man came out of the clinic wearing "ghetto" clothes. You know, really saggy pants and a huge red basketball jersey worn over a long sleeve white shirt. He was driven by an older man, who could have been his father, or the father of the very young teenage girl he brought to the clinic. Stan spoke to him, and he listened and took the card. Stan is very good because he is an older man and I think the young men he speaks to have respect for him. He is very kind and soft spoken. He has a rugged looking face with very intense deep blue eyes that you can't help but stare into. The young man and the father took off in a jeep, while the young girl waited alone.

Kathy came to help us at about 9:30AM. She had on her usual warm smile, and we got ready to pray. She said a storm is coming our way, and she first prayed that it would hold off until we finished our litany of prayers. Half way through our prayers, a woman came out of the clinic doors and almost ran down the sidewalk to avoid us. I followed her and caught up to her by the bar next to the abortion clinic. She whirled around to face me. She said, "You can't help me. No one can help me." I smiled at her and said "Yes, it must seem like that, but I promise that I can help you if you give me just a minute to talk with you." She agreed. She is so desparate. I talked to her about a crisis pregnancy center that will help her. She listened, and seemed interested. We talked for awhile, and then she left.

Towards the end of our prayers, we kneel and pray the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. Before we finished, I jumped up to talk with the young teenage girl that was just coming out of the clinic. She could not have had her abortion yet. I approached her and the poor girl was weeping and sobbing so hard that her little body was shaking. I felt like hugging her, but of course, I did not touch her. She stopped and looked at me. Tears were spilling down her face and her nose was running and she cried out loud. I saw Kathy out of the corner of my eyes shake her head and close her eyes to pray more fervently. I told the girl that she will be alright. I showed her who to call for help. She stopped to listen and took the card, but she could not stop crying. I spoke to her gently. and touched her hand. I told her that if she does the right thing, she will feel better, and everything will be OK. The jeep pulled up, she got in, and they drove away. I went back near Stan and Kathy. I could not join in on the prayers, I could not say anything because I was struggling not to add my own tears to the sidewalk. The rain held off, and Chris took our place with his huge pictures of aborted babies. As we left, I heard him singing his song to the mothers inside that goes, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world...."

2006-03-30T13:22:00.000-06:00

As I drove by the clinic this morning to park in my usual place in front of the condo complex, I saw a young hispanic girl try to open the abortion clinic door. It was before 9 AM, too early to get inside. I parked and then walked towards the clinic. I found the young girl sitting on steps in front of one of the condos. I asked her if she was going to the clinic for an abortion. She said no, her friend is having an abortion today, and she is just waiting for her. I doubt that. I sat down next to her, and asked her name. It is Maria. She said I can't understand English well. I said, "Yes you can, right?" She laughed and said, "Right!" She has a two year old child, and she is only twenty one years old. She works in a restaurant in Mexican Village, and told me how hard it is to work and support her child. She said her mother is very angry with her for having a child. I asked her what her mother would think about her having an abortion. She said she would be more angry. We talked more about mothers and motherhood. We talked about God and her soul. Finally, I asked her if she made up the story about a friend coming here. She said no. I still doubt it. I think she was dropped off, their is no friend, and the abortion is for her. I told her I could take her to a place for help with her child, schooling, work, and her health situation. She knew what I meant. But, she would not go with me to the crisis pregnancy center. I continued to try to convince her, but she walked over to the clinic "looking for her friend", and went inside. Before she was completely inside I told her that this place will hurt her, and she will not come out as the same Maria she is right now. She gave me a pathetically sad look, but went inside. I wondered what else I could have said to turn her away from this horrible place!

Stan was there. Two men and a young woman came down the sidewalk. I talked with them, but they would not take the referral card. One man is black, one hispanic, and she is a very pretty red haired white girl. I continued to talk with them at the door. The hispanic man said, "I don't want to hear any more about this from you." I told him that I speak the truth when I say this abortion will hurt her, and he knows it IS the truth.

As they were standing at the door, Connie came by. She lives in the neighborhood, has some problems, and is very lonely. She uses my cell phone to call her case worker. A bus is suppose to take her to Salvation Army. I think Connie has difficulties with time. She was crying because she said no one cares about her. Stan suggested she bring out a lawn chair, her coffee, and hang out with us. Well, I thought, why not? The hispanic man was watching us interact with Connie. He was very quiet suddenly, and temporarily dropped his bad attitude.

The two men and red haired girl went inside. The men soon came out to let her wait alone. Later, she came out to get the money. When she returned to the door, I asked her why she is doing this awful thing to her baby and to herself. I told her that those men do not care about her. She said one of them is her husband, and they have a child and can't afford another. I told her she knows very well that she can love this child too, and one more child doesn't make a big difference financially. The abortion cost alone would pay for much of the babies needs. I talked to her about adoption, and she laughed and said she could never to that. I asked her which she thought her baby would pick, death or adoption. For the first time, she stopped smiling, she put her head down and went inside. That was a little harsh for me to say, but I felt she needed a reality check.

Kathy and her mother-in-law, Katie, arrived. The four of us began our prayers. We pray for about thirty minutes together with a very nice cadence, that can be heard inside. I am the "talker" today. A white man in his sixties went inside the clinic. I had a feeling that I should not approach him. He came out immediately with the red haired girl, his daughter. The black and hispanic men suddenly appeared. The father was trying to get her away from the clinic, he was not agreeable to the abortion. She told him that she is married now, and it is no longer his business. She kissed her hispanic husband, apparently as a solidarity sign. The father was upset, and he went in to the parking lot with the two men. Chris showed up and talked with them and showed them his aborted baby signs. I could not hear them, but I watched because I was concerned for Chris. The red haired girl stayed in the clinic.

As the drama in the parking lot continued, a white couple stepped on to the sidewalk. She looked under eighteen, he was in his late twenties, at least. I approached him and he said that she really thought hard about coming here. As I suspected, they were picking up the paperwork for an abortion. She ducked inside. I told him about the cisis pregnancy center and how he could take her there now. I told him that it would be worth the short drive, and he should do it if he is her friend and cares. I explained that if they do not like it at the CPC, they can always leave, but he must give it a chance, for her sake. He said he doesn't agree with abortion. I asked him to have conviction enough to help her so that she does not make the mistake of her life. She came out with the tell-tale white envelope, and they left. I gave him directions to the CPC.

Our prayers were almost finished when a van pulled right behind me at the curb. We heard more crude and rude remarks this morning than usual, so I was startled. I turned around to speak with the driver. Kathy joined me. He asked what we were doing. Kathy spoke to him since I continued talking with people coming and going from the clinic as Stan and Katie prayed. Kathy said he is Muslim. I heard her tell him that this is an abortion clinic and it is worse than the terror going on in the Mid East, and it is happening in his own backyard. He said he drives by every day, sees us, and had no idea what we were doing. He thanked and affirmed our work, and gave us his homemade kibbie to eat. Sure beats rude comments! We gave the kibbie to Chris, and he loved them! There you go, sidewalk counseling is NOT a thankless job! I left thinking about and praying for Maria. No friend is coming.

2006-03-29T07:00:00.000-06:00

The cars started pulling in to the abortion clinic parking lot at 8:50 AM. I recognized the first woman to approach the clinic. I spoke to her the other day. I greeted her, and we talked while she waited for the clinic to open for business. I told her I had hoped and prayed she would not come back for the abortion. She said she is having a bad time with this pregnancy, and between work and her three year old child it is just too much. She was very soft spoken. I referred her to a place that would help her financially, medically, and with adoption. I offered to go there with her. We talked for about ten minutes. She had big soft brown eyes and she seemed very gentle. I asked her if she believed that having an abortion is wrong. She said she would rather not do it, but feels she can't handle going through with the pregnancy. I asked her about the baby she carries. No response. I told her that she seemed to have a good heart, knows what is right and wrong, and asked her to do the right thing and please leave the clinic now. She said no, I am going through with it. I asked her if the clinic offered her RU486. She said they do not use it at this clinic, and she is nine weeks pregnant. She said she would not take that drug because women die from it. I added that babies die too, and their burial place is a toilet! No response. Well, I guess my soft spoken good hearted mother IS concerned about life, her own. The door unlocked, and she went inside. I feel badly for her, and I am disheartened that after all that conversation, she still went inside. I told her I would be out here praying that she will change her mind before it is too late. Two others came and I talked with them and they listened and accepted the reference and developmant cards.

I was alone until 9:30 AM, and then saw Kathy walking down the sidewalk towards me. She had been sick for over a week and I was happy to see her. Joe, an older man came to pray with us. We pray loudly so that everyone inside can hear us. At 9:45 AM, same time every day, the big silver Lincoln pulls in to the parking lot. The windows have a smoky glass, but I stare inside anyway at the abortionist and his wife arriving for the slaughter. They enter through the back door, of course. The rear entrance of the clinic backs up to an alley. Maybe tomorrow I will go into the alley and talk with the abortionist. I assume he will ignore me, but I think it is worth a try. I wonder how many babies it cost to buy a Lincoln Continental.

2006-03-27T10:59:00.000-06:00

I arrived in front of the abortion clinic at 8:55 AM after Mass at St Martha's. Cars filled the parking lot. Stan was there with the sign he wears on his back that says, "Pregnant? Call 800-no-abort." As the 9 o'clock hour closed in, the car doors began to open and the pregnant women and their escorts crossed the parking lot and stepped on to the sidewalk. First was a black man and a white woman. They looked to be in their mid to late twenties. I talked to them. He was very amused about the situation, but she hung her head low and would not speak. He acted like this was a big joke. Next came a black couple who would not give eye contact. Then a very reluctant young white couple approached the clinic door. They looked to be in their very late teens or early twenties. She clung to him. I spoke to him, but he looked away each time. I continued to speak. Her hair hid her face as she cried on his chest. He put his arms around her. They looked completely out of place here. Two black women came next. I spoke to them also and the escort told me to, "just shut up." I asked her what bothers her so much about what I am saying. She continued to blast me with rude comments. This really upset the young white couple, and I was glad that these unkind words bothered them. I told the black women I would pray for them and the baby. She told me that she could pray for herself. I said, "good, please pray yourself and everyone else right out of here." She did not like that! They were all grouped together waiting for someone to unlock the door, just like at Farmer Jacks! The clinic staff opened the door, and they all piled in. I gave my last comment that before the abortion happens, they can always change their mind and come out for help. That was countered by one more rude comment.

I felt that I was not saying the right words today. I don't know why. Thank God, the white couple did come out and leave before her abortion. Maybe the rude comments to me and the cavalier attitude of the black man turned them away. I don't know. I approached them again, but they would not stop and talk. I asked them to please talk with me, they refused. While I walked with them to the parking lot I told them that they do not belong in a terrible place like this. I told him to protect her, and if he cares for her, he will not let her abort their baby. He nodded. But, that is all I could say before they got in their car and left.

Another woman came on to the sidewalk. She told me she is planning to have an abortion. She listened to me, took the information, but still went inside. When she opened the door, I looked inside. I saw all the women whom I spoke to sitting on folding type chairs arranged in a long line. I think you could call that death row. Some of the men would leave them there, run an errand, have a smoke, and come back later. The white woman came out twice to speak with her boyfriend who was waiting in the car. The first time I saw him give her the money. I spoke to her each time, but she would not respond. He was quite happy about the whole thing, but she was absolutely miserable. Richard came at 9:30 AM and we prayed the Rosary, Chaplet and other prayers. I will re-think my sidewalk talk today and pray that I will be more successful tomorrow, God willing.

2006-03-23T19:07:00.000-06:00

This morning I arrived at the abortion clinic at 9 AM. A black man and white woman entered the clinic quickly to avoid Stan. She was very young. Next a station wagon pulled into the parking lot, and Stan started to talk with the women as soon as they stepped out of the car. He tried to get them to go to a crisis pregnancy center. He explained that this clinic is no place for Christians. To avoid walking in front of us, they unsuccessfully tried to enter the clinic through the side door, and then tried the back door which was also locked. The Mexican mother was sobbing, and her daughter bolted towards the front door. Before I said a word, the mother approached me to say that she told her daughter abortion would endanger her life. She cried that she tried to talk her out of an abortion. I added that her daughter's life is not the only life involved. The baby will die. The mother agreed and through her tears said rhetorically, "what can I do." I showed her where to take her daughter (and grandchild) for help. I asked her to just grab her daughter by the hand and pull her out of there. She went inside to be with her daughter and did not come back out. I paced back and forth in front of the door partly talking to Stan and partly to myself. I said how terrible it is for a mother to bring her own child here. Her sweet little daughter. I went on about it. Stan looked right through me with those deep blue eyes and said that it is now in God's hands, it is God's will. He said to remember that we are no better than anyone in that clinic. We began our prayers. I prayed the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy on my knees more fervently....."For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world."

2006-03-23T07:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, March 22, I arrived at the abortion clinic at about 9:30AM. Stan, as usual was there wearing his sign. He told me that he attends Mass with the Sisters of Charity. He helps them out too. The first people to arrive at the clinic were two Muslim women in full garb. This is so unusual. I approached them and talked with them about going elsewhere for services. I asked if one of them was having an abortion. They smiled, and said NO, but would not tell me what they were there for. The younger woman listened to me as I explained to her that they kill babies at this place, and showed her on the card other places to receive health services without supporting abortion. She asked me if the places I showed her accept people of all faiths. I affirmed that, but they still went inside. Thank God, they came out immediately and held up the card and smiled. I prayed that they were being sincere, and would seek an alternative clinic. A few more people came and went, but it was a fairly uneventful morning. Chris asked me to come at 9:00 AM because that is when most girls arrive to be prepped for their abortion. Yes, I will come earlier and be there waiting for them with a smile and on a mission from God.

2006-03-20T21:48:00.000-06:00

Usually I go to Mass to receive the Eucharist and to ask the Holy Spirit to give me the words I need to be most effective at the clinic. Kathy is usually there and I do the talking while she and Stan pray. I love her upbeat personality and kind disposition, even in the midst of all this misery! She is Christ to whomever she meets on the sidewalk. She brings a kit with holy water, a laminated sheet of our prayers, business size literature and fetal development cards, and kneeler pads for saying the Chaplet. I am talking more openly now with the clinic "victims" with each visit. I always smile at them and usually say my name. It is hard to know success and failure, but the prayers and Kathy's affirmations are inspirational.

On Monday March 13, the clinic was very busy. Kathy was not there, so Stan and I worked the sidewalk. A women came out of the clinic with her friends. I asked her if she was scheduled for an abortion today. She said yes, and that she feels she has no choice because she is divorcing, and she already has two children. Her voice was quivering, and her face was streaked with tears. We talked about how she is already a good mother, and could love and care for this child too, even without her husband. Eventually, I gave her the resource card, and the card picturing fetal development. I also suggested adoption. I felt very sad for her, and had to concentrate on keeping my own composure.

Thursday March 16 was another busy morning at the clinc. Every person stopped to talk and take the resource card. I felt strongly that I was turning people away from the clinic. Then a young college student with pretty blonde hair and a pink WMU sweatshirt came around the corner. I approached her and she immediately said, "I am getting a pregnancy test and I don't want you to pray for me, I am an educated person." I smiled at her and said, "OK, but as an educated person you don't belong in this horrid clinic". She went inside, and came back out almost immediately. I asked her how it went. She walked up to me and asked for directions to the crisis pregnancy center. She said, "This really sucks". I thought about my college age children and their cousins. I remember my own college days and my heart went out to her. I went back near Stan, I looked down, and my own tears fell on the sidewalk. I pictured her panic stricken look all day. I could not talk for awhile.

Today, March 20, is the first day of Spring. Only Stan and I worked the sidewalk this busy morning. Chris came, but he respectfully moved away when we began our prayers. People coming to the clinic were not very receptive to our cards or conversation. A car load of people drove by honking and screaming at us, "F#ck you.' Stan watched to make sure they do not come back to taunt us, or worse, while I continued our Rosary. Our backs are to the street. A young girl, only fourteen left the clinic with her mother. I always talk with the parent, never the child. The mother glared at me and told me off. She rebuked her little daughter. Chris knew the mother took her for an abortion. Chris wants to find out if it is statutory rape, and filmed the mother talking about the situation. He has a lot of guts! He will get her liscense plate number and check to see if the abortion clinic files a rape notification.

Two black high school age girls entered the clinic quickly. One came out and told me that her friend is having an abortion today. I asked her to go and get her friend out of there so I can talk with her. This girl is stoned. Her friend came out and was also high. I asked them what they were so high on. They both laughed. I told them to go home, do whatever they need to do to come down, and never come to this place again. Stan and I finished the Chaplet, and Chris took over with his gruesome signs and literature. He is intense, this place is intense.

2006-03-16T13:28:00.000-06:00

First, the facts: Pregnancy is NOT a health problem. Tissue is that papery stuff we blow our nose on, it is not a very small real live human being. Most Catholic parents WILL help their pregnant unmarried daughter. Catholics for Choice is NOT a valid organization of the Catholic Church. It is never OK to take someone else's life in order to prevent the following: Embarrassment, a loss of free time, financial difficulties, or a disruption in your life style. Adoptions are easy, open, and free. A mother at any age or socio-economic status knows in her heart that her abortion was NOT good for her, no matter what her circumstance was at the time.

Our pastor asked us this question: "When Jesus comes again, what will you say when He asks what you did to protect His innocent ones from the slaughter?" Well, I thought, I could say I wrote checks, prayed, and verbally defended life..."singing to the choir" mostly. OK then, I admit those things are indirect and easy, so then what ACTION should I take? I took that question to the Holy Spirit, and felt Him nudging me to go to the sidewalk in front of an abortion clinic and use my sales skills to sell life. This blog is a journal of life and death on the sidewalk.

My first sidewalk experience at an abortion clinic was on a cold Saturday morning on January 28, 2006. As I stood staring at the clinic I felt the evil; this place is hell. Five of us immediately recited the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel. Bob, a gray haired man in his 60's, carried a huge crucifix. Don, an older man in his 70's, placed a sign on the lawn that read, "Abortion is Murder". Karen, Rose, and I then joined the men to pray the Rosary as we alternately talked to women and handed them crisis pregnancy center flyers. We marched back and forth in front of the clinic. Some people honked their horn as they drove by. I wondered if the honks were an affirmation as in "good work", or an observation as in "what a bunch of nuts."

The clinic was busy that day. It was difficult to get the attention of the mothers because a big parking lot separates the sidewalk from the front door. Stepping off the sidewalk is a jailable offense. Cameras on the building moniter us. To be heard from across the parking lot, we had to shout. I viewed the big crucifix, murder sign, and marching action as intimidation that turned people away from responding to us. Their reaction reminded me of the ole "avoid eye-contact" technique one would use to blow by a salesman who is trying to sell weird gadgets at a home show! But this is the best that can be done under the challenging circumstances at this clinic, and the sidewalk counselors I am with are experienced, dedicated and passionate.

A very cute pony-tailed teenage GIRL arrived there with her parents. YES, with her PARENTS. They lowered their heads and rushed inside the clinic. Then a fresh faced blonde high school GIRL arrived with uncharacteristically silent girl friends. Obviously, the one with the sweat pants is getting the abortion. Nice friends! Next came a young woman smoking a cigarette. She was waiting for her tardy boyfriend outside the door so that he could be with her after the abortionist kills their baby. She decided to let us know what she thought of our ministry. She said "I am preganant, I'm having an abortion, and you bastards can all go to hell". She then broke down in tears. Many came to the clinic in tears, and departed in tears.

Before we left, a woman wheeled her car into the parking lot in front of us and rolled down her window to talk. She asked us what we were doing. It was obvious by her tone that she was pro-abortion, and she knew exactly what we were doing. She asked if we had ever held a crack baby. Karen said yes, and described to us how precious these babies are. The woman was speechless for a moment, and then said, "Well, what about the woman's rights?" I explained to her that the unborn baby is a separate individual than the mother, with a full DNA structure at conception. An actual person, not a plant or animal. A real live human being who has the same right to live as each and everyone of us. She pressed on about "rights". I asked her if she believed that the baby in the womb is a person, separate from the mother, and a human being with full DNA. She said yes. I think that counted as a victory.

My first sidewalk counseling experience was not what I imagined, and I was a bit discouraged. I did not like shouting at people, I did not like the crucifix nor murder sign. I felt uncomfortable with the whole thing. But since this was the protocol at this clinic I decided to give it more time.

Then, the staff at a crisis pregnancy center where I volunteer, introduced me to Kathy. She invited me to join her at an abortion clinic she has been counseling at for ten years. She is about my age and stature. Stan, who is in his 70's, comes almost every day. We stand directly in front of the clinic door which is just off the sidewalk. Oh good, NO shouting! Kathy did the talking that day, while Stan and I prayed the Rosary, then we dropped to our knees to pray the Chaplet. I actually liked kneeling on the sidewalk as a witness to the urgency of the need to pray to end abortion. It is very humbling, you know, on your knees at a busy intersection! I listened to Kathy's approach. She speaks compassionately and gently to everyone coming and going, including the clinic staff and pharmacy couriers. This feels right, and is very comfortable. Then Kathy turned the "talking" over to me, and it felt very natural to direct people away from this hideous clinic to a caring place like the pregnancy center.

We talk and pray for one hour. People stop and respond to us. Most take our card with alternative health service information. We stand about one foot from the curb with our backs to the road. Cars wiz by and once again horns are blasting for whatever reason. Someone shouted out, "get a fucking job". I found that amusing, except that it bothered Stan. I felt like shouting back, "I have a fucking job, I am doing this for Christ, what are YOU doing for Him"? But, I think that would have taken us a bit off our core focus!

After we prayed and talked to people, Chris came to replace us. Chris is a big guy about my age. He displays humungous signs picturing aborted babies. He spoke to a woman and her daughter as they walked to the parking lot. The woman got in her car and then suddenly jumped out screaming at Chris endlessly. She was incomprehensible. Kathy calmed her down, and she finally left. Then Chris talked to a very large black man who pushed him while yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs. His girlfriend was sitting in the car, in tears. While the big black man was returning to his car, he stopped and mooned Chris. Chris talks gently, but is in their face. We are concerned for his safety. I think his approach is too confrontational.

Richard, who comes on certain days, explained to me that Chris works all night, and comes for hours during the day to stop the killing. He has even taken a few beatings! Chris spends tremendous time actively pursuing law suits to stop abortion. Richard told me not to judge Chris, he said he is effective and very passionate. He saves lives. I believe it is true that his gruesome signs turn people away from abortion. The pictures are reality. Richard is right, Satan is the divider, and we need to work together and support each other in our efforts.